Komaru on Jabberwock Island

The next day, Toko sat outside and tried to read. She tried to read, but the author had got caught up describing the breasts of the girlfriend character, and all Toko could think about was Komaru’s boobs pushed up by the stupid bodice that Ibuki had chosen, and the way it made you want to give them a squeeze. How was Toko meant to look Komaru in the face when her breasts were on display like that?

If Toko thought about it too much, it made her want to tear all Komaru’s clothes off and replace them with some frumpy, matronly outfit so that no-one else would look at her. But Toko would still know what was underneath. What did the way Komaru dressed matter, when Toko had seen her naked and had Komaru mash their chests together in one of her sudden out-of-nowhere hugs?

In retrospect, Toko regretted that she hadn’t just turned around and left when Komaeda had come into the library. It was definitely the fault of that white-haired bastard. Toko should sit and imagine Togami punishing her for thinking such filthy things about Komaru, but the spark had gone from that fantasy. It didn’t get her heart racing like it used to.

Maybe, Toko thought, her feelings for Togami were just a habit. Could that be right? Komaru could joke about it, and Toko could act outraged, but the truth was, Toko had given up on Togami when she’d chosen to stay with Komaru.

She was such an idiot.

‘Fukawa-san, are you alright? You’ve been reading that page for ten minutes now.’

Komaeda’s voice interrupted her thoughts; Toko snapped her book shut.

‘Don’t sneak up on people!’

‘I thought you would have heard me coming.’ Komaeda looked down at her, blocking her sea view.

‘Maybe I was engrossed.’

‘Engrossed in something,’ Komaeda said, ‘but I don’t think it was that book.’

Toko set the book aside, and pulled her legs up in front of her. 

‘His editor really let him get out of control on this one,’ she said. ‘All that gross stuff creeps me out.’

‘Huh? Isn’t that a love story?’

‘Love,’ Toko said, sneering on the word. ‘It’s just about fucking.’

‘Wow. I didn’t expect to hear it so crudely.’

‘If it bothers you, you can leave.’

‘Oh, it’s alright for me to stay, then?’ Komaeda said, which was not what Toko had said. He sat down on the grass beside her, carefully, as if he didn’t want to ruffle it.

‘I know my company is hardly worth inflicting on anyone, but I thought you might be lonely. You know, with Komaru-san making new friends.’

‘It doesn’t concern me.’

‘That’s very cool of you. I wouldn’t be so relaxed if I were in your position.’

Toko sniggered. ‘That’s because no-one would want to be your friend, even a good person like Komaru who sees the best in everyone.’

‘Mm, you’re probably right.’

‘Of course I’m right.’

‘I can’t help being a trashbag of a human so that no-one would want to be my friend, but even so, do you really think it’s okay for Komaru-san and Hinata-kun to be alone together?’

‘Why,’ Toko said, ‘is he a sleazebag? Because if he is, I’ll go slice him up right now.’

‘No, nothing like that. Just, as you say, Komaru-san is the type who sees the best in everyone.’

‘So? What are you trying to say?’

‘I wonder … if it might be bad for both of us if they were to fall in love?’

Toko felt herself want to rear up like a snake. She should cut Komaeda for even suggesting such a preposterous thing. Except … Komaru had been arranging to meet Hinata, hadn’t she? And he’d seen her trying on that ridiculous outfit.

‘You know what I mean, right, Fukawa-san?’

‘We’re only here a week.’

‘You never know what might happen, though. Typhoon season is coming up.’

‘What, you think we’re going to be stuck here and then the two of them will get rained in during the storm and have to share a bed to keep warm –’ She cut herself off, seeing her fervour reflected in Komaeda’s eyes. Maybe he did think that.

‘You see what I mean,’ Komaeda said, with a gentle smile. It didn’t stop Toko from wanting to smack him.

‘This isn’t one of Komaru’s manga.’

‘Hm. Would it be better if it were more novelistic?’ Komaeda looked at the book Toko had set aside, and Toko had the sudden urge to hide it from him.

‘What’s your point?’ Toko said. ‘You want me to go break them up?’ She could picture, too easily, Komaru getting herself ravished. Komaru hadn’t even been able to defend herself from a messed-up little girl; no way was she fit to contend with a healthy young male. She’d probably believe him if he told her blue balls could kill.

‘Ah, maybe not right now, Fukawa-san,’ Komaeda said, seeing the intensity in her eyes. ‘I don’t want you killing Hinata-kun by mistake. If this goes on, however …’

‘You’re saying you have a plan?’ Toko ought to be suspicious of any plan of Komaeda’s. Still, she was curious.

‘I might,’ Komaeda said. ‘I need a bit more time. I wasn’t expecting things to progress so quickly.’

‘You’re making it sound worse!’ Toko said, grabbing her own hair in frustration. She didn’t want to think about Komaru being deflowered. She didn’t want to think of anyone else touching her.

‘Well, Hinata-kun’s not that bold. I think.’

‘You think. And why would I trust your judgement?’

Komaeda gave a strange little half-smile. ‘I have observed some things about him in my time here.’

Toko felt her heart settle down. Not because she trusted Komaeda. Maybe just because he’d said something that wasn’t meant to rile her up. Because when he said ‘observed’, she got a sense of how lonely he must be here, on these islands.

She understood feeling lonely, even when you were amongst people. Komaru was the one who’d taught her how not to be.

‘I’m not saying I’ll go along with whatever it is you’re planning,’ Toko said. ‘But I guess I’ll hear you out.’

---

Komaru was in Hinata’s room that afternoon, yes – but contrary to Toko’s imaginings, what was going on wasn’t any clumsy attempt at seduction. Rather, it was a clumsy attempt at a music lesson.

‘I can’t learn to play that!’ Komaru said, when she saw the instrument Hinata had picked out for her.

‘It’s a bass guitar,’ Hinata said. ‘It’s different from a normal guitar. See? Only four strings.’

Like it were a fact she needed to convince herself of, Komaru said, ‘Four strings is easier.’

‘It’s easier.’

‘I thought you didn’t actually play anything,’ Komaru said. Hinata got a pained look on his face.

‘“Don’t” might be the wrong idea,’ Hinata said. ‘Why don’t you just hold it to start?’

‘Well, I probably can’t break it,’ Komaru said. Gingerly she took the bass off him. It felt more awkward than she’d expected to hold onto it, like it was bigger than she was.

‘You can sit down,’ Hinata said. ‘You want to hold it like this.’

Komaru let herself be directed, Hinata’s hands moving her when he needed to. ‘It’s heavier than I thought.’

‘You’ll get used to it,’ Hinata said. ‘I mean, you would, if you learnt seriously.’

It wasn’t that Komaru wasn’t serious. But it wasn’t music she was serious about, was it? She just wanted to try because she thought it would please Ibuki. She wanted Ibuki to think that Komaru was serious about their friendship. Even if it was only till the end of the week. Even if Komaru wasn’t sure it was friendship she was thinking of.

‘You see these lines on the neck?’ Hinata said. ‘They’re the frets. They help guide you where to press down on the strings.’

‘It already sounds complicated.’

Hinata smiled, but didn’t bother to dismiss or reassure her. ‘Depending where you press, it changes the sound.’

He wouldn’t demonstrate either, but made her try for herself. At first she didn’t press the strings down hard enough, and the sound was muted – but when she got it right, it resonated.

‘That didn’t sound terrible!’

‘Some instruments sound worse when you’re learning than others,’ Hinata said.

‘Don’t I know that,’ Komaru said, thinking of the recorders they’d had as kids. She and Makoto had mainly used them as a method to torture each other.

Pressing down the strings remained hard – Hinata told her that was something she would just have to get used to. And when he told her the names of the notes, they went straight out her head. Still, she could get the idea – the way the sound got higher when you moved your hand further down the fretboard. That the strings had their own order, although it seemed hard enough dealing with one string to start with.

They finished the lesson when her hand started to cramp up.

‘Mioda-san makes it look so easy,’ Komaru said.

‘Bass is physically harder,’ Hinata said. ‘It’s just that the bass line is less complicated.’

‘That’s me,’ Komaru said, more to herself than Hinata. ‘I’m not that smart, I can just put up with a lot.’

‘My bad, I didn’t mean it like that. Just that if you want to be able to play with Mioda, I thought this would be fastest.’

‘Mm, I’m sure you’re right. Thanks, Hinata-san. You didn’t need to show me this.’

‘It makes a change.’

They chatted for a while longer. Before Komaru left, they agreed to have another ‘lesson’ the next day, so that Komaru would have time to show Ibuki what she’d learned before she left.

That was the first time she really felt that it was a shame to be leaving so soon. She’d made a home in Towa City, yes, but apart from Toko it wasn’t like anyone really needed her back there. Maybe in the early days she’d been useful, but nowadays the adults had gained enough sense to run themselves, and with Monaka gone, things were more peaceful.

Maybe it was time that she should start thinking of herself.

If anyone had asked, she wouldn’t have said she were considering staying. She wasn’t. Rather, she had remembered that she had options. That there were other things for Naegi Komaru to be than just the defender of Towa City, than just an ordinary high school girl.

Not that she wouldn’t have graduated high school already.

Toko was taking less advantage of the change of scenery than Komaru was; she was in their room when Komaru got back.

‘Toko-chan, you weren’t here all day, were you?’

Toko glanced up from where she was reading on the bed, lying on her stomach. ‘No.’

‘Really?’ Komaru sat down on the bed next to her; Toko didn’t shift.

‘Yes, really.’

‘Did you talk to any other people?’

‘As a matter of fact, I did.’ Toko turned a page. ‘Or they talked to me.’ Toko stopped reading to eye her. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t dress up.’

‘Huh? What for?’

‘For your date.’

Komaru laughed an anxious laugh. ‘It wasn’t a date,’ she said. ‘Hinata-san’s just helping me with something.’

‘Sure.’

Komaru nudged Toko’s arm. ‘Why don’t you believe me,’ she said, ‘Toko-chan?’ Deliberately, she put a whine into her voice. Toko looked at her properly then, with an expression something like disgust.

‘You’re so mean,’ Komaru went on. ‘Just because I don’t have anyone like your Byakuya-sama.’

‘Don’t say it like that.’

Komaru flopped on her back and laughed. ‘He was teaching me to play bass guitar. Can you imagine?’

‘You?’

‘Yeah. I know we won’t be here long enough for it to matter, but I thought it might make Mioda-san happy if I actually tried. Maybe that’s silly.’

Toko was silent a moment. ‘It’s not silly.’

‘Hey, Toko-chan? Do you like it here?’

‘It’s alright.’

‘Hmm.’

‘It’s not like I like Towa City that much either. Places are just where you end up.’

‘I guess so. It’s not like I’ve ever really chosen anywhere I’ve been.’

She waited for Toko’s answer.

‘If you stayed here,’ Toko said at last, ‘you’d get bored.’

‘Do you think so?’

‘And you’d worry about those kids. You’d want to know how they were doing.’

‘Maybe you’re right.’

After a while, she heard Toko pick up her book again. But Komaru was still thinking about it – why she’d stayed in Towa City in the first place, and why she hadn’t left even now. Except she’d come here.

Maybe being here would change her, she thought, the same way being in Towa City had.

What would Toko have said, if Komaru told her what her purpose actually was, in spending time with Hinata – why she wanted to impress Ibuki so much?

That it was because Komaru found her charming. And sexy. And vibrant.

If Komaru told Toko that, what would she do? Would she make fun of Komaru? Would she treat her differently? Tell her they couldn’t sleep in the same bed any more? Tell her she was making a fool of herself, mixing up admiration and attraction. It wasn’t as if Komaru didn’t admire Ibuki.

She just liked being called sexy by her too.

---

The next morning, Ibuki found her over breakfast.

‘Komaru-chan!’ Ibuki slung an arm over her like it was nothing. ‘I heard you’re hanging out with Hajime-chan without me. You’re gonna make Ibuki sad, like that.’

Komaru found herself blushing, for no good reason except for the way Ibuki leaned into her space.

‘It’s a surprise,’ Komaru said, ‘that we’re working on.’

‘Oh-ho, a surprise! Well, that’s interesting.’ Ibuki took the seat opposite Komaru. She wasn’t having a proper breakfast, just a smoothie, which she drank through a straw while looking at Komaru. ‘Maybe Ibuki should ask you to hang out alone too.’

She wasn’t helping with the blushing. ‘That sounds like fun.’

‘How about after dinner?’

‘After dinner?’

‘We can stay up and play games till it gets late!’

‘You mean like a sleepover?’

‘If you like.’ Ibuki grinned at her. ‘We can hang out in our nighties and have a pillow fight. And do each other’s hair …’

What would Toko think, Komaru wondered. It wasn’t as if Komaru could invite Toko along too. Toko would hate it besides. And if Komaru did try and bring Toko along …

It would ruin all the fantasies Komaru was already having in her head about what she and Ibuki might do that evening.

‘Let’s do it!’ Komaru said, and made up her mind to apologise to Toko later.

First, though, came her music lesson.