Love Hotel V3

When Komaeda and Hinata made it to the dining room, there was no trace of Hanamura left.

‘I – I have a question,’ Fukawa said, once everyone had gathered. ‘All the cutlery –’ she gestured to the table where it was laid out – ‘it’s new, right? You haven’t just cleaned it up?’

‘It’s all 100% new and hygienic,’ Usami said. ‘Everyone’s safety is our top priority. Now, are we all here?’

‘I have to protest,’ Tsumiki said. ‘Kuwata-kun is still in a fragile state … he shouldn’t be walking around right now.’ Evidently Tsumiki hadn’t been able to convince him to stay put – he was sitting with a group of the other men (and not with Tsumiki).

‘Now, Tsumiki-san, you can’t expect to keep him all to yourself! Unless Kuwata-kun wants you to. Usame doesn’t think your relationship has deepened that far yet.’

Tsumiki looked startled at the implication.

‘It’s fiiine,’ Kuwata said, drawing out the word, as if he’d already had this argument. ‘A guy can’t just sit out this sort of thing.’

Tsumiki glared at Usami. ‘If he deteriorates after this, I hope you’ll be accountable.’

‘Don’t say such scary things, Tsumiki-san. I’m sure he’ll be just fine.’

‘Can we get on with things?’ Togami said. Komaeda hadn’t seen him since his own escape from Tsumiki. His arm was in a sling, and there was a patch above his forehead where his hair had been shaved for stitches. Somehow the injuries didn’t dim his forceful aura.

‘Well … I wanted to make sure you all had lunch,’ Usami said. ‘Lots of people skip meals when they’re stressed, and Usami doesn’t want that. Also, we’re still doing the dinner for yesterday’s prize winners. Sonia-san, as you were Hanamura-kun’s date for the evening, we’ll let you choose who to take in his place.’

‘Respectfully,’ Sonia said, ‘I would rather sit this one out.’

‘Usami understands your feelings … but this isn’t optional.’

Sonia kept eyes locked on Usami’s. ‘I did nothing to earn such a prize. My group’s achievement was centre of the pack. Perhaps you should offer the experience to someone in the runner-up group.’

Sonia’s suggestion didn’t exactly have people leaping with excitement, but Usami appeared to consider it.

‘It wouldn’t be fair,’ she said at last, ‘to give it to some and not the others. I think you’d better keep it, Sonia-san. But if you don’t want to choose, we can always leave it up to fate.’

Sonia looked aside, displeased.

‘What if someone volunteers?’ Souda suggested.

That made Sonia’s eyes widen. ‘Leaving it to chance will be fine.’

Komaeda knew what was going to happen next.

Usami got the guys to play Rock Paper Scissors against each other – a game it was difficult to lose on purpose. Things went as expected, with Komaeda winning each of his rounds until it was down to him and Naegi. Komaeda played paper, which he had been playing consistently since the first round. Naegi, apparently, hadn’t noticed. He played rock.

‘I guess you’ll be the one accompanying Sonia-san tonight,’ Naegi said, when he drew his hand back. ‘Too bad.’

‘Lucky me.’ Komaeda stared at his own traitorous hand. He should have changed at the last minute. Or had Naegi lost on purpose? Komaeda hadn’t spoken much to him; he didn’t know what might lie beneath that placid exterior.

‘Now that’s settled,’ Usami said, ‘I’m sure you’re all ready for some lunch.’

Komaeda took his usual seat with Akamatsu, and was surprised when Hinata came to join them.

‘Oh,’ Akamatsu said, ‘you made up!’

‘We weren’t exactly fighting,’ Hinata said, giving Komaeda a sideways look; Komaeda would rather he hadn’t realised their relationship had been discussed.

‘You’re avoiding Souda-kun, aren’t you?’ Saihara said. He was sitting across from Akamatsu.

Hinata looked sheepish. ‘I don’t want to hear him complain about missing out on a date with Sonia.’

‘He should know better,’ Akamatsu said. ‘It’s not like any of us wants to keep participating in this.’ She avoided looking at Saihara.

‘It’s a shame Souda-kun couldn’t have won at Rock Paper Scissors,’ Komaeda said. ‘At least someone would have got what they wanted.’

‘I don’t think Sonia-san would have been happy if he had,’ Shirogane said.

‘I guess it is useless in that case.’

Mioda came to join them, clapping Hinata several times on the shoulder. ‘You two made up, huh? I knew you would.’

‘Do people have to keep saying that?’ Hinata said.

‘Well, we gotta distract ourselves from reality.’ Mioda took the seat opposite Shirogane. ‘Tsumugi-chan here’s probably not worried; her roommate doesn’t seem like he has much luck in love.’

‘That doesn’t mean I’m not worried,’ Shirogane demurred. ‘I wouldn’t want to be the cause of anyone’s death either.’

‘Shirogane-san, is there someone you’re interested in?’ Akamatsu turned her head.

‘I think I’m better suited to being a spectator for that kind of thing.’

‘What an answer!’ Mioda said. ‘Tsumugi-chan doesn’t want to tell us.’

Shirogane just smiled at her.

‘Isn’t it better,’ Saihara said, clearing his voice, ‘if we all just agree not to do anything?’ Now he was avoiding looking at Akamatsu. ‘We can work out a way to get out of here. No-one else needs to die.’

‘Will everyone agree to that, though?’ Shirogane said. ‘They might say they do, but when it comes down to it, people are going to develop feelings. And not everyone is good at denying themselves.’

‘Isn’t love meant to be selfish anyway?’ Komaeda said.

They all looked at him. ‘I think you mean selfless,’ Akamatsu said.

‘I’m not talking about a mother and child,’ Komaeda said. ‘Romantic love. When two people have a passion for one another, do they stop to consider another’s feelings? They do not. Otherwise there would be a lot fewer cheating husbands, don’t you think?’

‘I’m not sure that’s the same situation,’ Hinata said.

‘Well, maybe not. We are in a very particular set of circumstances, aren’t we? But if we think that sort of love is a good thing, then we accept that people will get hurt.’

‘Don’t talk like that,’ Akamatsu said. ‘I’m not going to accept that as an inevitability.’

Hinata was looking at him strangely. ‘Komaeda, you don’t actually believe that.’ He said it very certainly, as if he had proof otherwise. It made Komaeda’s spine prickle. ‘You don’t want Akamatsu to die. You just want her to think it’s okay if you do.’

‘I’ve already told him,’ Akamatsu said, her voice tense.

‘You know what I think?’ Mioda said. ‘We’re all stressed out and it’s making us loopy. You know what’s good in this situation?’

Everyone turned at her.

‘We gotta get in a room together and make a ruckus! Kaede-chan, you already said you’d give it a go, right?’

‘Me? When did I … oh! You mean music.’

‘Right? If we focus on that, we don’t need to worry about stuff like romance and dying. We just gotta focus on playing well together.’

‘But isn’t most music about romance?’ Saihara said. He frowned. ‘Or dying?’

‘Shuichi-chan, you gotta broaden those horizons! Sometimes it’s just about throwing your leftovers into some asshole’s letterbox, you know?’

‘It’s what?’ Saihara looked alarmed. ‘What sort of music is that?’

‘Do you think your style and Mioda-san’s will mesh?’ Shirogane asked, looking at Akamatsu.

‘I don’t know,’ Akamatsu said. ‘I can’t say I’ve ever shoved any kind of food in anyone’s letterbox.’

‘But you get the urge, right?’ Mioda said.

‘I suppose I do.’

‘Hooray! Kaede-chan’s going to be in a band with me!’

‘But don’t you already have a band?’ Shirogane asked.

‘Bands are like lovers,’ Mioda said, with a slanted grin. ‘You don’t gotta have just one.’

They all looked at her.

‘Maybe that’s not the right simile for the moment?’ Saihara said.

‘Okay, then how about dumplings? You don’t gotta stop at just one! In fact, that would be weird! Who just eats one dumpling?’

‘Dumplings are like lovers,’ Shirogane said, and looked up toward the ceiling in thought. Or exasperation.

‘It feels like you must have been living a more exciting life than the rest of us,’ Akamatsu said.

‘Anyway,’ Mioda said. ‘Those of us who don’t have to go on dates with totally sweet princesses tonight should totally jam.’

‘And me,’ Shirogane said. ‘I’m going with Mitarai-kun, remember?’

‘Oh ho!’ Mioda said. ‘I forgot! You were sneaky about that, Tsumugi-chan.’

‘I don’t know what’s sneaky about it. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I never learned to play an instrument.’

‘It’s not about whether you can play,’ Mioda said. ‘It’s about the vibe you create with your bandmates. Skills come second.’

‘I think we should wait for when Tsumugi-chan’s free,’ Akamatsu said. ‘It would be fun to do it all together.’ Komaeda hadn’t heard her call Shirogane by her given name before; evidently, Mioda’s confidence that she was on first-name terms with everyone had loosened her up.

Komaeda wondered how Hinata would react if he called him by his first name. Would Hinata call him Nagito in turn? It was hard for Komaeda to imagine; not that he couldn’t imagine it, but imagining it made him feel hot inside. Like what he was picturing was forbidden.

Names should be the least of it. He remembered telling Hinata that he was going to kiss him in that stupid room, and it made him want to sink into his seat and disappear. He’d been so brazen about it. He was going to pay for that, surely.

If anyone noticed Komaeda having a moment, they didn’t draw attention to it. They were still arguing about band plans – Mioda was insistent that they hold a bandmeet that evening.

‘Maybe I can just make costumes,’ Shirogane said. ‘We could make it a cosplay band. Oh! You could each be people from different groups! Like an imaginary supergroup!’

‘Heh. It’s a nice idea,’ Mioda said. And then yelled, ‘But Ibuki can’t be anyone but herself!’

With someone like that at the table, there was no fear that anyone would pay any attention to Komaeda at all.

That was what he thought, at least.

---

At 6 pm, Komaeda showed up at the hotel’s spa as instructed, thinking that at least the hot water would be good for his neck. One person who was less than excited for the experience was Kiibo – robots and hot water didn’t go together. Komaeda had seen Kiibo having a hushed argument about it with Usami, which ended with Iruma butting in and declaring that she would give him her personal treatment. Which presumably meant neither of them were doing the spa thing.

That meant Komaeda was in there with Mitarai, who had been in the winning group, and Amami, whom Kirigiri had elected to invite as her date.

It was as he was getting undressed that Komaeda rediscovered the piece of paper from the rubbish bin he’d tripped over. He took it out and flattened it, not expecting anything much. What he saw was a string of numbers and letters, dashed down in handwriting he didn’t recognise.

‘Amami-kun, what does this look like to you?’

‘Huh?’ Amami came and peered at it. ‘It’s a password, isn’t it? Like a wifi password or something?

‘The wifi here doesn’t work.’ They’d checked that early on.

‘Isn’t it yours, though?’

‘I found it,’ Komaeda said, ‘in that room behind reception.’

That made Amami pay attention. ‘You got in there?’

‘Usami let us in,’ Komaeda said. ‘Oh, but it’s not like there was anything important in there. I found this in the rubbish, that’s all.’

‘Maybe it is important, then.’ Amami hesitated. ‘Can I give it to Kirigiri-san? She might be able to work something out.’

Komaeda handed it over. He’d memorised the code anyway.

‘I meant to ask too,’ he said, ‘what was it you were doing last night?’

‘Last night?’ They carried on the conversation as they proceeded to wash up.

‘When you left the party.’

‘You spotted that, did you? And here I thought your mind was on someone else.’

It was true Komaeda hadn’t spoken to Amami that evening. Had it bothered him? ‘Akamatsu-san noticed. That’s why she kicked up such a fuss.’

‘Yeah … she’s a good one. Togami-kun and I were checking some things out, that’s all.’

‘Checking what out?’

Mitarai laughed behind them, a deep resonant laugh. ‘Didn’t you know? Those two were investigating us all.’’

Komaeda looked between the two of them.

Amami sighed. ‘We were checking out people’s rooms. Trying to see if there was anything suspicious. It’s not like you haven’t been doing the same thing, from the sound of it.’

‘That wasn’t someone’s hotel room …’

‘I know it’s not great. But we can’t just sit around, can we? I mean, Hanamura-kun died. Whoever’s behind this won’t stop there.’

He wasn’t wrong, but … Komaeda had to ask. ‘Did you look in my room?’

‘Akamatsu-san lent me her key card. Sorry.’

And she hadn’t mentioned it to Komaeda.

‘Relax,’ Amami said. ‘It’s not like we found anything. Everyone’s very, um … okay, well, some people’s rooms were pretty weird. But we didn’t find anything to indicate who was behind this.’

‘Did you check everyone’s rooms?’

Amami shook his head. ‘I couldn’t get cards off everyone.’

‘Enough of this serious talk,’ Mitarai said. He’d finished washing and stood up, exposing his rather impressive bulk to the room. ‘We should enjoy the baths while we can.’

The conversation in the spa was subdued. Komaeda ended up getting out early – he didn’t really like hot water, although it had eased the last of the ache in his neck. His ankle was still a little wobbly.

On top of Komaeda’s belongings, he’d been left a fresh change of clothes. It was a yukata and jacket – clearly the theme for the evening was to imagine they were at a traditional inn. Komaeda thought about putting his own clothes anyway … but it was nice to wear fresh things after a bath. So he wore the yukata, enjoying the crisp starched feeling of the fabric. He left his other clothes, assuming he could come back for them later.

The dinner that evening was held not in the main dining area, but a smaller room that had been laid out Japanese-style. There was no-one there when Komaeda poked his head in.

‘Komaeda-kun, you’re early!’ Usami said, appearing behind him. ‘You should be relaxing.’

‘If I relax too much, I’ll get dizzy,’ Komaeda said. ‘I think we’ve had enough accidents here, don’t you?’

‘Of course,’ Usami agreed. ‘Safety first.’

‘Can I go in and wait? Maybe you could bring me a drink.’

‘Please go ahead. Usami will bring you some tea.’

That hadn’t been the sort of drink Komaeda meant. When you were sitting by yourself in an empty room, aware that other people might be having less fancy dinners but were at least spending time with people they were close to (if any of them could be said to have chosen to spend time with each other) and also you’d seen a man stabbed to death with kitchen utensils that morning – it did seem that you should at least be able to drink liquor.

He should have brought a book with him.

Amami and Mitarai arrived next. Usami went to get more tea things, while Amami sat down opposite Komaeda. Mitarai remained in the doorway, surveying the room. Japanese dress suited him.

‘Surely we don’t all need to sit at separate tables,’ Mitarai said. ‘Wouldn’t it make more sense to join them together?’

‘I don’t think that would fit Usami’s theme,’ Komaeda said.

‘All the more reason to do it, don’t you think?’ Amami said.

They all looked at each other. And then, while Usami was out the room, they rearranged the tables.

‘That’s better.’ Mitarai sat comfortably down beside Amami.

When Usami came back, she said tremulously, ‘What did you do?’

‘It’s more sociable like this,’ Amami said.

‘We can still say it’s a date,’ Mitarai said. ‘A group date.’

‘Komaeda-kun, why did you let them move things around?’

‘I’m not the boss of anyone,’ Komaeda said. It felt a little unfair to be singled out, as if he should have been on Usami’s side on this.

Usami set out the additional tea things, continuing to whine at their lack of appreciation for her efforts. They ignored her.

‘I’ve always enjoyed scenes where the characters visit the hot springs together,’ Mitarai said, ‘but I’ve never had the chance to do it in real life. This isn’t quite the same, but …’ He hmmed satisfiedly.

‘Not even for school trips or anything?’ Amami asked.

‘My school years were somewhat unusual.’

‘Aren’t you the same anyway, Amami-kun?’ Komaeda asked.

‘Well, I’ve been with my family … I guess I’ve never really travelled with friends, though. I’ve made friends while travelling, but it’s not the same.’

‘That’s just what we’re doing now, isn’t it?’ Komaeda said. ‘We’re people who are hanging out for the time being, but once we go home we’ll be strangers again.’

‘Do you think so?’

‘Well, I guess there were people like Oogami-san and Asahina-san who knew each other anyway …’

‘You don’t think Usami’s plan will work, then?’ Mitarai’s smile was bittersweet.

‘Maybe you guys are the type to form lifelong friendships out of adverse situations,’ Komaeda said, ‘but I’m pretty sure I’m the kind to get forgotten straight away.’

‘You’re not giving yourself much credit there,’ Amami said.

‘Perhaps I should say, “the kind you’d prefer to forget about”?’

They were interrupted then by the arrival of Sonia, Shirogane and Kirigiri, who all looked very dressed up in their yukata.

‘Oh, we’re eating together!’ Sonia said. ‘That’s much nicer than I was imagining.’

‘It was Mitarai-kun’s idea,’ Amami said. ‘Usami wasn’t too impressed we pushed the tables together.’

‘It’s more comfortable like this,’ Kirigiri said. She sat beside Amami, giving him a smile. Komaeda wondered if there wasn’t something between them. Assuming Amami was interested in women at all …

‘But what about Iruma-san and Kiibo-kun?’ Sonia said, still standing.

‘I’ve reminded them of the time,’ Usami said, reappearing in the doorway.

‘Perhaps we could get some sake while we wait,’ Kirigiri said, ‘if everyone’s happy with that.’

They were all agreeable. It got Usami out the room, anyway.

When Iruma arrived, she somehow did not have the same dressed-up aura that the other women had – she seemed to have dressed in a hurry, with the bow on her sash left untidy. Kiibo also seemed out of place – the yukata and jacket looked odd on his robotic body.

‘Man, you guys already started!’ Iruma plonked herself at one end of the table, her yukata riding up and exposing her legs. Kiibo sat at the other end of the table.

‘Isn’t this sort of thing awkward for you?’ Komaeda asked him. ‘I mean, you can’t eat, right?’

‘I can still admire the dishes!’ Kiibo said. ‘There’s no reason to leave me out of things just because I can’t eat.’

‘Yeah, he likes to watch, don’t you, Kiibo?’ Iruma said, voice full of insinuation. Kiibo was innocent to the implications.

‘I was so glad when Iruma-san invited me for this!’ he said. ‘People often don’t think to include me.’

‘That’s terrible,’ Sonia said.

‘Yes. Society still isn’t ready for robots to live amongst them …’

It was slightly awkward, having Iruma and Kiibo at either end of the table. Sonia was obviously interested in talking to Kiibo, but Komaeda was in between them. It would probably be awkward if he suggested changing seats. Anyway, the first course of their meal soon distracted them.

‘So, Mitarai-kun,’ Amami said, ‘what made you decide to invite Shirogane-san for this?’

Shirogane stiffened at the question.

‘We have some common interests,’ Mitarai said. ‘Is that enough of a reason?’

‘Well, sure …’

‘I have seen some of the shows Mitarai has worked on,’ Shirogane said. ‘I usually prefer more of a fourth wall between me and the creators, to be honest.’

Mitarai laughed, and didn’t seem offended.

‘Right … you work in animation, don’t you?’ Amami said to Mitarai. ‘That must take a lot of patience.’

Mitarai discussed his work for a while, before Iruma said, ‘Boring. What I wanna know is how much porn do you draw on the side?’

Mitarai smiled, and said nothing.

‘I bet you’re a total perv, right?’

‘Iruma-san, your assumptions are quite unwarranted!’ Sonia said. ‘I expect that sort of stereotype when I’m at home, but from a Japanese person –’

‘What?’ Iruma said. ‘Everyone knows it’s pervs who are into that shit.’

‘I don’t think we need to discuss this the dinner table,’ Shirogane said.

‘Don’t think I don’t know about you too,’ Iruma said. ‘Fangirls are just as bad.’

‘Whoa, Shirogane-san is right,’ Amami said. ‘Save it till we’re not all stuck here together.’

‘Come on,’ Iruma said. ‘Don’t tell me you’re not thinking the same thing.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Pfft. Well, looking at you, pretending to be uptight. I tell you, no-one gets that many piercings if they’re not down—’

‘What about you, Iruma-san?’ Komaeda said. ‘Would you like to share your porn-watching habits with us all?’

‘Don’t encourage her,’ Shirogane muttered.

‘Like I need porn,’ Iruma said. ‘I can get laid any time I want.’

‘Ah,’ Komaeda said. ‘That must be convenient.’

Iruma scowled at him. ‘What are you trying to say? Are you saying I’m a slut?’

‘Not at all.’

‘Coz I’m not gonna sleep with you, loser, whatever names you call me.’

‘I’m glad to hear it.’

‘You –’ Iruma’s scowl grew fiercer.

‘Perhaps you’d like to tell us about your work,’ Mitarai said. ‘I was curious, when you dismantled Usami … did you notice anything interesting?’

‘Well …’ Iruma bit her lip, and she looked around the room, as if Usami might be hiding in the corner, or about to slide open the screen door. ‘You got the thing, right?’ she said to Kirigiri.

Kirigiri nodded. ‘Yes, Fujisaki-kun is looking into it.’

‘That reminds me,’ Amami said. ‘Komaeda-kun gave me this to give to you earlier.’ He’d carried the slip of paper in his sleeve, apparently.

‘I know it looks like rubbish,’ Komaeda said. ‘Well, that’s because it is rubbish. I found it in the room behind the reception area with Hinata-kun. It’s probably not relevant to anything though.’

‘That room …’ Kirigiri frowned. ‘How were you able to get in?’

‘Usami offered to let us inside.’

‘Really?’ Amami said.

‘If you two ask together,’ Komaeda said, ‘she’ll probably let you too.’

‘Together?’ Kirigiri raised an eyebrow.

‘Yes,’ Komaeda said. ‘It’s a sort of game they’ve set up. I think you two should be able to beat it though.’

He couldn’t give them any more information because Usami chose that moment to bring in the next course. He didn’t think Usami would want him giving Kirigiri and Amami spoilers, even if she didn’t mind him telling them about the room.

---

They’d finished the rice portion of their meal, and were feeling sated and relaxed, when Usami reappeared.

‘I’m not trying to rush you out,’ she said. ‘You can stay as long as you like. But I’ve got a survey for each of you.’

‘You want us to rate the meal?’ Iruma said. ‘The food wasn’t bad, I guess …’

‘No, not the food. Remember for Rapid Fire Talk, when I asked you to write down the people you were most interested in? I need to update that information. I just need your top four this time.’

‘When you said this morning that Hinata-kun had immunity …’ Mitarai said. ‘Does that have anything to do with the results of these surveys?’

‘Not at all,’ Usami said. ‘These are just for planning purposes.’

‘Is that really true?’ Amami said.

‘Usami wouldn’t lie to you. Love thrives off honesty, you know.’

‘But it’s okay to keep secrets?’

‘Well, sure. A little bit of mystery is important when you’re all getting to know each other, don’t you think?’

‘So you won’t tell us how we can get immunity for ourselves.’ Mitarai folded his arms.

‘Usami is keeping mum on that one! But don’t worry, it’s something that is possible for all of you to achieve. Why, some of you even have it right now.’

‘That’s not fair!’ Iruma said. ‘You can’t tell us that and not tell us how to get it.’

‘Who said love was fair?’ Usami said. ‘Anyway, if you wouldn’t mind writing down your choices.’ Usami returned their attention to the paper slips she was carrying. ‘And no discussion, please.’

Komaeda took a slip and considered. Usami had said the polling wouldn’t have anything to do with the so-called ‘immunity’, but he wasn’t sure he could trust her on that. Not unless they had firm evidence.

With that in mind, Komaeda wrote Hinata’s name, and then Akamatsu’s, Kirigiri’s and Amami’s. It might not do anything to keep them safe, but even so …

He folded the paper and gave it back to Usami, and waited for the others to do the same.

---

The polling made for an uneasy end to their dinner. The meal had been less awkward than Komaeda had thought it might be, but he was relieved when it was over. It was early for it, but he kind of hoped Akamatsu had gone to sleep already. He didn’t want to deal with it if she was still feeling emotional.

But Akamatsu wasn’t there when he got back to their room.

Perhaps she was with Saihara. Hopefully she was with Saihara. It would almost be a relief, if those two were to – reluctantly – declare their love. Komaeda would know if he were a dead man or not.

What was the difference between Hinata and Hanamura? Something that was possible for them all …

Komaeda left his room again, and went to knock on Hinata’s door. Hinata opened it, his hair all stuck up like he’d just come out the shower. Komaeda had to resist the urge to touch it.

‘If it’s not to do with how many people voted for you at the start, then what’s the difference between you and Hanamura-kun?’

‘Hello to you too,’ Hinata said.

‘Maybe it’s to do with whether or not people said they’d see you again after a date?’

‘Maybe it’s just Usami’s whim, and it’s not worth worrying about.’

Komaeda frowned. Hinata gestured for him to come inside, and shut the door behind him.

‘Usami said to us that it was something that was possible for anyone. That some of us had it right now. I assume she meant those of us at dinner.’

‘I’m not sure that narrows it down.’ Hinata sat on the bed, and Komaeda sat on the chair nearby.

‘It could be whether people said they’d go out again. Kirigiri-san and I said that for each other, after all.’

‘If she said some of you had it,’ Hinata said, ‘then it means not all of you did. Who was there?’

Komaeda listed off the names.

‘So you know you and Kirigiri had red chocolates?’

‘And Amami-kun.’

‘From you?’

‘Yes.’

Hinata shifted uncomfortably. ‘It went well, then? Your date.’

‘Oh, not particularly. I don’t think we’re compatible.’

‘You talk to him, though.’

Had Komaeda talked to him, particularly? ‘Well, he’s never taken against me because he decided I told Hanamura-kun to dose everyone with aphrodisiacs.’

‘You’re bringing that up now?’

Komaeda ignored him. ‘Maybe that’s the difference.’

‘What is?’

‘Hanamura-kun never got laid. You did.’

‘Got –’ Hinata made a face. ‘How do you know? Hanamura could have –’

‘Oh please, Hinata-kun. Really?’

‘We don’t know,’ Hinata said firmly.

‘You’re too nice.’

‘It’s not being nice. I’m just saying, we don’t know.’

‘Hmm. Well, I suppose I can’t argue with that. It’s not like if I say you and I jerked each other off on that bed, anyone would necessarily believe us.’

Hinata flushed red.

‘Or if I say, Hinata-kun hadn’t even been drugged with anything at all.’

‘You don’t have to say it like that,’ Hinata said.

‘No. It wouldn’t be very good for your image if I told anyone.’

‘What image?’ Hinata said, and then held a hand up. ‘No, I know what you mean. But I feel like you’re misunderstanding something.’

‘What, you didn’t sign up for this programme with the intent of pursuing a normal heterosexual love?’

‘That’s not – I mean, yes, I did. But … okay, first thing. You know when we met, and you said I’d probably been dumped by my girlfriend and that was why I signed up?’

‘I remember.’

‘She dumped me because she found out …’ Hinata held his fist to his mouth like he wanted to bite it. And scream. Once he’d collected himself, he went on. ‘Um. So, at uni … I made friends with this guy, and I used to crash at his place sometimes. You know, if we’d been out drinking and it got late. And we used to mess around sometimes.’

Komaeda didn’t say anything. His mind had turned to white static. Hinata didn’t seem to notice.

‘It wasn’t anything serious. It stopped after I started dating this girl I liked. But I guess she found out what this guy and I had been up to and she dumped me for it.’

‘Hinata-kun?’ Komaeda was surprised at the bitterness in his voice.

‘She didn’t like that I’d been with a guy. It’s not that she thought I was cheating or anything; she just didn’t like it.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Komaeda didn’t know what that was like; being normal hadn’t been an option for him. But for Hinata, for whom it was …

‘I don’t know if he told her, or if it was just that he’d told someone else and it got back to her. I don’t really want to know. But it didn’t come from me. I never told anyone.’ Hinata made a face. ‘Until right now. So I guess what I’m saying is, yes I signed up because I wanted to show that it didn’t matter or whatever, but also, if you want to try and act like I’m making some big secret of it, don’t. I know I like guys, Komaeda. I know.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Komaeda couldn’t even say why he had been talking about it as an attack. Except that he’d been annoyed that Hinata had disagreed with him. Or he was annoyed because even if he and Hinata had messed around, it didn’t mean that Hinata would ever choose him.

‘And the second thing is,’ Hinata went on, ‘I told Mioda about us.’

Komaeda’s brain blanked out again. ‘What?’

‘So if you think it’s so unbelievable …’ Hinata bit his lip. ‘It’s not like she had any trouble believing it.’

‘Mioda-san knows?’

‘She wanted to know what I was in a mood about, I guess. It’s actually pretty hard to keep secrets from someone like that.’

‘… is that so?’

‘Yeah.’

What was Komaeda meant to say to that? He had thought Hinata was ashamed, but if Hinata had told someone … had told Mioda …

‘Does it bother you?’

‘Hmm?’

‘That I told someone.’

‘Why would that bother me?’ Komaeda lifted his hand to run in his hair, but it was mostly to cover his face. ‘I’m just surprised that you would. I mean … I guess you were right and I misunderstood … but that you would admit to … with someone like me … oh, but I guess it’s not a big deal after all.’ He tried to smile but it was like those muscles weren’t working.

‘Did I say it wasn’t a big deal?’ Hinata said.

‘But it can’t have been if you told Mioda-san.’

‘I told Mioda because it was a big deal. To me. That’s why she was asking.’

‘Oh.’

There was so much feeling inside Komaeda that he felt like bursting; if Hinata said the right thing it would all spill over, and that was wrong. He shouldn’t be a big deal to Hinata. Nothing they said or did with one another should be a big deal. Because if it was then Komaeda had something to lose. If he only liked Hinata too much, he had something to lose. The universe loved taking things from him.

He already liked Hinata too much.

‘Anyway,’ Hinata said, ‘it’s been a big day, so maybe –’

‘Let me sleep with you.’

‘What?’

The more Komaeda did with Hinata, the less there was for fate to deny him in the future.

‘We can set an alarm. I’ll leave before 1 am.’

‘Won’t Akamatsu worry?’

‘Is she my guardian? Do I need her to sign a permission slip? She’s probably with Saihara-kun anyway. She says nothing will happen, but …’ She was upset and she would want comforting. It was only natural. Wasn’t that why Komaeda had come here, after all? He hadn’t wanted to be alone. ‘It doesn’t matter. Just … let me stay here.’

‘You can stay,’ Hinata said. ‘But when you say “sleep”, you don’t just mean sleep, do you?’

‘Well,’ Komaeda said, ‘if the trick to having immunity to getting laid, then I wouldn’t want to miss out.’

Hinata laughed, and then looked as if he were surprised at himself for laughing.

‘Fine,’ he said. ‘It’s not going work if you stay in that chair all night, though. Or until 1 am or whenever.’

‘Maybe not if we’re trying to sleep,’ Komaeda said. He leaned forward in the chair. ‘But for the rest …’

Hinata avoided his gaze, but he’d grown pleasantly flushed. ‘Let’s just stick with the bed.’