Reasonable Demands

Hinata had never quite understood why, post-awakening, Komaeda had holed himself up in the hospital and refused to interact with the others. But now it made a sick sort of sense. Because when Hinata had come to ask for the antibiotics from the hospital’s supply, Komaeda had said, ‘If you want the antibiotics, you’ll need to get on your knees and beg me.’

Hinata felt his eyelid twitch. ‘Be reasonable.’

‘I am being reasonable,’ Komaeda said. ‘What’s unreasonable is a jumped-up reserve course student like you thinking you can come here and make demands.’

‘Owari’s sick.’ She’d developed an infection after a hunting accident.

‘She’s a resilient young woman. I’m sure that even if she’s on death’s door now, she’ll make a miraculous recovery. People like her don’t get killed because of a little infection.’

Hinata couldn’t tell whether that was meant to be derogatory or not. ‘Look, I could just take it.’

‘If you want to, I’m sure I can’t stop you. I can of course burn down the entire hospital and everything in it afterwards. But I’m sure your friends in the Future Foundation will come along with resupply soon enough. Maybe you could ask them for the antibiotics instead.’

He could overpower Komaeda, but he believed that Komaeda would burn the hospital down out of spite. Unless they were to restrict his movements … but keeping a malevolent Komaeda prisoner didn’t seem ideal in the long term either.

They should have asked the Future Foundation for new supplies as soon as Komaeda had moved into the hospital.

Hinata sighed. He got down, one knee at a time, and he bowed his head. ‘Please,’ he said. ‘Let us have the antibiotics for Owari.’

He heard Komaeda sigh. ‘That’s very nice, Hinata-kun, but I think you need to do more to demonstrate your sincerity. Like here.’ Komaeda’s boot nudged into Hinata’s vision. ‘Why don’t you clean my shoes with your tongue? Then maybe I’ll consider it.’

Anger flared in Hinata’s chest, and he lifted his head. ‘You can’t say that.’

‘Oh?’ Komaeda said. ‘Then I guess I can’t help you.’ He withdrew his foot.

‘Wait,’ Hinata said, and he squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Will that be it? I do that and you give me the medicine, no more demands?’

‘Did you have something else in mind?’ Komaeda said innocently.

He liked me once, Hinata thought, and felt his cheeks flush red from more than anger.

Hinata bent his head. He put out his tongue, and he ran it over the toe of Komaeda’s shoe. At least it was leather. It might have been humiliating, but it wasn’t gross. Leather was only skin, wasn’t it? It didn’t taste of anything. It was smooth; no fibres clung to his tongue. Only the heat in his chest was wrong.

‘Keep going,’ Komaeda said, his voice gone breathy. Getting off on it. Hinata clenched his fists against the floor, but he licked again, flattening his tongue to cover as much of the toebox as possible. His saliva dried quickly in the air.

Hinata looked up from his position directly at Komaeda’s feet.

‘Please,’ he said, and he forced his hands from their fists. ‘Let me save Owari. Let me have the medicine.’ He shuffled closer, clutching at Komaeda’s pant leg; he heard Komaeda’s sharp intake of breath. That should have been some sort of warning, but Hinata was trying to sell this. ‘Please, you’re the only one who can help.’

‘Oh, Hinata-kun,’ Komaeda said, ‘you have no pride after all.’ But Komaeda’s voice was shaky, and Hinata, could see, from this angle, the fabric of his trousers tenting over the crotch.

Hinata, mortifyingly, felt his own cock twitch in response.

‘You’re right,’ Hinata said. ‘I have no pride. No-one with any self-respect would do the things that I’ve done.’ So desperate to be special that he’d let them operate on his brain, that was who Hinata Hajime was. But Komaeda had liked him. Before he’d known anything about him.

‘If you let me have the medicine,’ Hinata said, his hands still grasping the fabric of Komaeda’s pant leg, ‘I’ll give you a blowjob.’

‘Huh?’ Komaeda said. ‘You’ll what? You’ll … Hinata-kun, you’d really …’

Hinata wet his lips. ‘That should be enough, right?’ Let it be enough. ‘Come on, Komaeda.’

‘But that makes no sense.’ Komaeda lifted his hands to his hair. ‘You wouldn’t … you wouldn’t just … someone like me …’

Was Komaeda seriously equivocating about this? As if his hard on wasn’t completely obvious?

‘Should I repeat myself?’

‘Oh, Komaeda said, and ran a hand down his face. ‘That’s not really … what …’ Then, with a sudden vehemence: ‘Yes. I’ll give you the medicine.’ He wavered. ‘If you … if you do that.’

A feeling washed over Hinata, too sharp to be relief. He bowed his head a moment, to hide his face. His hands were still against Komaeda’s calf, so he forced himself to let go.

‘Right here?’ he asked. They were in the hospital waiting room.

‘It’s not like we’re expecting guests,’ Komaeda said, with barely a giggle.

Alright then.

It’s only skin, Hinata told himself, as he rose on his knees to reach for Komaeda’s belt. That put him face-to-face with the strained fabric of Komaeda’s trousers, but instead of feeling dread, as when Komaeda had ordered him down, Hinata felt … anticipation.

He undid Komaeda’s pants with trembling fingers. It was as if he was too full of blood, that such an ordinary action became clumsy.

He tugged down Komaeda’s pants and underwear, enough for his penis to spring free. Komaeda made a sound that wasn’t anything like a word. Hinata glanced up from under his eyebrows. He wanted to see the face that had made that sound. It wasn’t that he was avoiding what was right in front of him.

Komaeda’s mouth had fallen open, and his eyes had gone glazed. They sharpened on meeting Hinata’s. Komaeda’s mouth moved but he didn’t say anything; maybe he was only shaping the syllables of Hinata’s name.

Hinata wrapped one hand over Komaeda’s cock, and he angled his head to lick along the underside – only skin, after all – while maintaining that eye contact.

‘O-oh,’ Komaeda said, as Hinata played his tongue over the head of his penis. ‘Surely this is …’

Hinata hovered his mouth over the head of Komaeda’s cock, letting his mouth water. He stroked him with one hand, feeling the velvety skin that yielded with each motion.

‘I think I died after all,’ Komaeda said, the words one breath. Hinata glanced up again. He was annoyed, suddenly, that Komaeda would say such a thing when Hinata was very much alive – the pressure of his knees on the linoleum was proof of that – but rather than say anything, Hinata opened his mouth and took Komaeda in.

Komaeda let out a moan, and the press of Hinata’s own dick against his trousers became uncomfortably insistent.

Hinata had to open his jaw wider than he thought, at first, but with Komaeda’s cock in his mouth it was less awkward; he only had to round his mouth and slide it over him, slide his tongue wetly over Komaeda’s flesh. No time for saliva to dry; Hinata bobbed his head in–out, moulding his mouth to Komaeda’s dick. He wasn’t trying to meet his eyes anymore, but palmed his own dick through his trousers.

‘Hinata-kun … oh, Hinata-kun …’

His name barely registered until Komaeda’s hand brushed through his hair. A caress, rather than anything more greedy. And Hinata might have learned to fear Komaeda, but his body didn’t. His body wanted Komaeda’s body. Welcomed it. Even as Komaeda rocked against him, the shallow thrusts becoming more forceful, Hinata found himself responding eagerly. Until Komaeda was pleading his name.

‘I’m coming,’ Komaeda gasped out loud, right before the hot spurt of his come burst in Hinata’s mouth. It didn’t even taste bad. Hinata had licked him clean before he even thought about it.

And then sat back on his knees. He was still hard, but he refrained from touching himself anymore.

‘Good enough?’ he said. The huskiness of his own voice surprised him.

It took long moments for Komaeda to focus on him, longer for him to find words.

‘Of course,’ Komaeda said at last. ‘You really tried hard, didn’t you, Hinata-kun?’ There was something wrong in the way he said it. ‘How could I deny you after that?’ Something was wrong, but Hinata didn’t know what.

Komaeda offered him a hand, and Hinata let Komaeda help him up; his grip was warm and slightly damp. A part of Hinata wanted nothing more than to wrap himself around Komaeda, frot against him until he found his own relief. The desire was unnerving.

‘I’ll go get the antibiotics,’ Komaeda said, and let go of Hinata’s hand.

By the time Komaeda came back, Hinata had got himself under control. If Komaeda had touched him, he would have been ready to go in a heartbeat, but Komaeda didn’t touch him. Even when he handed the antibiotics over, he was careful not to brush hands.

That should have been a kindness. This was blackmail, after all. Or at least coercion. Even if Hinata was the one who had made the offer, it wasn’t something he had wanted of his own accord. All it was was services rendered. Suck Komaeda off, get a week’s worth of antibiotics. Fair exchange.

Hinata stewed about it all the walk back. But it was sexual frustration as much as it was hurt pride.

---

With the help of the antibiotics, Owari recovered well. Unfortunately for Hinata, someone had got it in her head to send Komaeda a gift basket as thanks. Hinata hadn’t mentioned the circumstances under which he had received the antibiotics, and he didn’t want Komaeda saying anything to anyone else. Thus, he was the one making the trip.

The basket had seemed light at first, but by the end of the walk, Hinata was bogged in sweat. The bottles of Souda’s homebrew that Owari had snaffled were beginning to look awfully tempting. Would Komaeda at least let him have a glass of water, he wondered. Or would he make him beg for that too?

It was a relief to set the basket down at the hospital entrance. Hinata knocked heavily on the locked doors, but there was no response. After a second try, he slithered down to sit on the dirt in the beating sun.

Maybe Komaeda wasn’t in. Maybe he’d decided hospitals were too much trouble and he’d gone somewhere no-one would visit. The airstrip, maybe.

Maybe Hinata should leave the basket and go.

The trouble was, he’d been thinking about Komaeda all week. The touch of his hand against the back of Hinata’s head. The way he’d pleaded his name. Hinata had felt humiliated, but at the same time …

They must have fucked something up in his brain when they’d made him a genius. There was no way Hinata should have been turned on by that.

Hinata stood up and knocked on the doors again, three big thumps, before he leaned forward to peer through the glass. No movement. With a sigh, Hinata picked up the gift basket, and began to walk around the outside of the building.

He checked through the windows as he went, but he heard Komaeda’s presence before he saw him. There was music; Hinata followed it round to the back of the building where it was cooler, and that was where he found Komaeda, lying on a hospital bed with the window open. The music came from a discman attached to a cheap pair of speakers. Komaeda was reading, too absorbed in the book to have noticed Hinata’s approach.

Hinata felt a twist of annoyance. Why did Komaeda look like he was enjoying his life? If he had to live in a hospital, couldn’t he at least be miserable about it?

‘Oi,’ Hinata said, leaning against the windowpane. Komaeda jumped where he lay, and scrabbled to sit up on the bed.

‘H-Hinata-kun, what you are doing here? Don’t tell me you need something else already.’

Hinata pulled the window sash open wider, and handed Komaeda the gift basket. Then he followed it in, clambering over the bed.

‘What’s this?’ Komaeda said. The basket was apparently more disturbing than Hinata’s presence.

‘Owari wanted to say thank you,’ Hinata said. ‘She would’ve come herself, but …’ Sonia had told her quite forcefully she was in no condition to be walking around yet. ‘She’s still recovering. Much better than she was, though.’

‘A gift basket,’ Komaeda said. ‘A Remnant of Despair wants to say thank you, so she sends a gift basket.’

‘If you don’t want it, I’ll take it back.’ He wouldn’t.

Komaeda picked through the contents of the gift basket: the beer, a ripe melon they’d plucked from near the hotel, a packet of the Novoselic liquorice no-one except Sonia wanted to eat. ‘This really wasn’t necessary, you know. You should’ve told her you’d already paid.’

Hinata felt a flash of anger; if Komaeda had looked up, he would have seen it on his face. But Komaeda was examining the liquorice packet. ‘I guess I won’t make you take it back,’ he said, and then he did look up. ‘What’s that look for, Hinata-kun?’

‘It wasn’t payment,’ Hinata said. ‘I don’t know why I came back here.’

‘Sorry,’ Komaeda said. ‘Should I have said it differently?’

‘You –’ It wasn’t even worth talking to a guy like this. ‘Why’d you make me do it?’ Hinata glared, until Komaeda looked away first.

‘How was I to know you’d go that far?’ Komaeda muttered. ‘You’re the one who suggested it.’

‘You made me lick your shoes.’

‘So was licking my cock better than that?’ Komaeda said, and then winced pre-emptively. ‘Don’t answer that.’

What answer did he think Hinata was going to give? Yes, actually, I really quite enjoyed sucking your cock, which is why I’m back here instead of just leaving the basket at the door like a normal supply drop off. He wouldn’t say that.

‘Will you let me have a drink of water?’ Hinata said. ‘Or do I have to put in an offer for that too?’

Komaeda’s expression was guilty now. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘We can cut up the melon too. I mean … does Owari-san expect me to eat the whole thing by myself?’

It was a concession, and it calmed Hinata down. ‘Well, it is Owari we’re talking about,’ he said.

Komaeda turned off the music and Hinata followed him through to the hospital kitchen. Komaeda filled a glass for Hinata, and handed it to him wordlessly. The water from the tap was lukewarm, but Hinata gulped it down. Komaeda set about chopping the melon.

Without the music, it was dead quiet in the hospital. Only the sound of Komaeda slicing the melon, the thunk as he pulled the knife through. It must have been awkward, with only one good hand – Komaeda still wore a mitten over the other – but Hinata didn’t offer to do it for him. He just watched.

Komaeda had never asked them for any help. They made monthly drop offs of supplies, but Komaeda had never mentioned them. Hinata wondered if he would have done anything if they’d stopped. Would he have gone on living like this? Was he staying at the hospital in case he wanted to end it, and wanted a more pleasant ending this time?

Hinata was lost for a moment, remembering.

Komaeda took the chopping board with the melon slices, and he sat down on the floor in front of the cupboards. Picked up a piece of melon, without inviting Hinata to do the same, and took a bite. Took another.

Hinata lowered himself to the floor with the chopping board between them. He helped himself to a piece of melon. The flesh practically burst in his mouth, sweet and juicy and stickying up his fingers.

‘It’s ripe,’ Hinata said.

‘Yeah.’ Komaeda placed his rind back on the chopping board; he’d bitten against it very neatly. ‘Why’d you bring it, really?’ He picked up another piece of melon, and Hinata watched as he ate it, the artless way he licked his thumb when the juice ran over it.

Hinata wasn’t going to be jealous of Komaeda’s thumb.

‘Do you want to have sex?’ he said.

Komaeda swivelled his head to stare at Hinata accusatorially. ‘What?’

Hinata picked up another piece of melon. Looked pointedly forward; it wasn’t like he was trying to eat it erotically or anything. ‘I’m just asking. Forget I said it.’

‘Do you think I want to have sex with you, Hinata-kun?’ Komaeda’s voice lifted at the end of the sentence.

‘I’m not asking for anyone else.’

‘With you?’

‘That’s what I said.’

Komaeda huffed, and he turned to stare straight forward. He let the silence draw out, and then he said, ‘Constantly.’

‘You – constantly?’

‘As soon as you came in the window. While you were drinking that glass of water. Certainly, when you got on your knees the other day. Are you asking because you want to have sex with me, Hinata-kun, or are you just humiliating me as a form of payback? Of course I want to have sex with you.’

Hinata was a little taken aback by his vehemence.

Komaeda went on. ‘Right here on the hard floor. Or against the kitchen bench? I have thought about it. In the shower. In bed in the mornings. Sometimes in the afternoon. Who knows what I might have done if you hadn’t arrived when you did. You’re probably disgusted right now. I disgust myself.’

‘You thought about it that much, huh?’

‘Constantly, constantly, constantly. When I knew who you were and when I didn’t. It should have changed but it never does. I tried to kill you but if I’d let you talk to me back then you probably could have –’ Komaeda broke off and he curled his legs up and put his head on his arms. ‘Isn’t that the most hopeless thing? Really, truly hopeless. Someone like me, all I can think about …’

In a version of this hospital, Komaeda had told Hinata he didn’t want to see his face again. Hinata had known it was a lie. He’d pretended otherwise.

Now he took pity on him.

‘I asked,’ he said, ‘because I do want to have sex with you, Komaeda.’

Komaeda turned his head, and he looked like if Hinata were lying he might die.

‘I wasn’t expecting the whole speech about it.’

Komaeda’s expression turned outraged. ‘Hinata-kun, you’re completely hateful. You could have interrupted at any point.’

Hinata smiled, and then he wanted to laugh. ‘Sorry,’ he said. He picked up the chopping board and lifted it back onto the bench. ‘But you must have known I was serious, to admit all that.’

‘Must I?’ Komaeda said – but if he was going to follow that up, his mouth stopped short when Hinata shuffled closer to him.

‘On the floor?’ Hinata said.

Komaeda’s eyes went wide. Hinata leaned forward and kissed him, and he was surprised by that too. Komaeda adapted quickly though, his tongue sliding against Hinata’s – kissing him like they were already fucking. He tugged against Hinata’s bottom lip before he moved down, kisses on Hinata’s chin, along his jaw, on his neck. Like he wanted to devour him. Hinata wanted to be devoured.

Hinata put his arms around him, and then he lifted Komaeda up on top of him, so that Komaeda squeaked.

‘Hey!’ Komaeda put his good hand against the cupboard, balancing himself.

‘Sorry,’ Hinata said, unapologetically. He put a hand on Komaeda’s chest, and travelled it round to the back of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. He liked having Komaeda on top of him. Komaeda’s hips were against his, and he felt it when Komaeda rocked forward.

‘Mm, Hinata-kun …. I think we better take these clothes off.’ Komaeda started undoing the buttons of Hinata’s shirt, only getting halfway before he had to slip a hand inside the squeeze a pec. ‘It’s not fair,’ he said. He yanked Hinata’s shirt aside to bite his nipple.

Hinata yelped and knocked his head back against the cupboard; the knock jolted the chopping board where he’d put it. Down fell the knife, slicing the air beside them to land with a clatter on the floor.

They both stared at it; they’d grabbed one another as it fell. With Komaeda’s chest pressed against his, Hinata almost thought he could feel his heartbeat. It was racing, like Hinata’s was.

‘I guess I should’ve put it away properly,’ Hinata said.

Komaeda thumped him on the chest. ‘That was too close. What if the melon falls on your head next and knocks you out and you lose your memory. Again!’ He thumped Hinata a second time, but it was less an admonishment than him assuring himself Hinata was okay.

‘So you’re saying we should clean up properly.’

‘I’ll clean up,’ Komaeda said, as if Hinata couldn’t be trusted with such a task. When Komaeda was the one who’d bitten him.

Komaeda got to his feet, and he picked up the knife. Hinata stayed on the floor, until Komaeda nudged him with his boot. That stupid boot. Hinata had the sudden urge to bit that, but he got to his feet instead. Komaeda had found a container to put the fruit into. He was obviously used to doing things on his own, but Hinata still felt guilty watching him.

‘I can wash up,’ he said.

‘You,’ Komaeda said, ‘can go back to my room and take all your clothes off.’

The sudden command took Hinata by surprise, and he felt a stab of arousal.

Komaeda went on, ‘I’m sure you can agree that would be a better use of your time than cleaning a few measly dishes.’

Hinata wasn’t sure that followed, but he obeyed nonetheless, feeling dazed. Presumably the room he’d come in was the one Komaeda thought of as ‘his’. The window was still wide open, a breeze stirring the curtains inside.

If one of the others walked past, what would this look like?

It didn’t matter. They weren’t here.

Hinata turned away from the window, and he finished undoing his shirt. That much was defensible, going shirtless on a hot day. But all the days were hot.

Shoes and socks too. The linoleum was pleasantly cool under his feet.

Deniability, deniability. Hinata thought of Komaeda’s mouth on his neck, and he stripped the rest of the way off and threw himself on the bed with a thump. It was so ridiculous. Waiting in the room because Komaeda had told him to. You couldn’t even say it was blackmail this time.

After a minute steaming to himself, Hinata picked up the book Komaeda had been reading. It was in English, a collection of short stories apparently about snails. Komaeda’s taste was incomprehensible.

Hinata read as he waited. It still disturbed him a little, that he could comprehend English so effortlessly now.

‘I feel like Highsmith would approve,’ Komaeda said from the doorway.

‘What?’

‘The author. You’re as bad as any of her creations, aren’t you?’ Komaeda sat next to him on the bed and plucked the book out of Hinata’s hands. ‘You have no idea what I’m talking about.’

‘You know I don’t.’

Komaeda put the book aside, and he looked sidelong at Hinata. ‘This was your opportunity to leave, you know. I didn’t really think you’d stay. Don’t you have any self-respect whatsoever?’

‘I think we already worked out the answer was no.’

‘Right.’ Komaeda’s gaze drifted down his body. He bit his lip, that small motion sexy enough that Hinata could almost forgive him for drawing this out.

He swallowed.

‘Sit up,’ he said. Hinata sat obediently, back against the head of the bed. He wasn’t sure what he was meant to do with his legs, but all became clear when Komaeda leaned over and put his mouth on Hinata’s cock. It surprised him, that warm wetness. Of course it felt good, but somehow Hinata had not been prepared for it, had not expected it. To do nothing, and to have pleasure delivered unto you. And Komaeda looked so sexy doing it, his hair falling in front of his face.

Komaeda pulled his mouth wetly off. Hinata was momentarily transfixed by his tongue, before Komaeda pushed his hair behind his ear and said, ‘Hey, Hinata-kun, I can fuck you, right?’

‘You what?’ Hinata said, entirely cogently.

‘Fuck you. It’s okay, right?’

‘You’re asking my permission?’

‘Yes, Hinata-kun, I’m asking your permission.’ Komaeda turned the sarcasm up. ‘Or should I assume you’ll just do everything I want you to and I shouldn’t so much as give you a warning?’

Hinata was flushing now, dangerously tempted to tell him go ahead. He managed specificity instead.

‘You can fuck me,’ he said, no force in his voice at all. ‘Have you … have you got lube?’

Komaeda looked at him and he snorted a little, or laughed. He could be a condescending prick sometimes.

‘We’re in a hospital, Hinata-kun; what do you think?’ He sprung up off the bed, and left the room. Hinata wondered what he would have done if Hinata hadn’t mentioned it. That couldn’t be comfortable on either end, right?

Komaeda came back with the bottle, which he tossed on the bed. Then he pulled his t-shirt up over his head, revealing his stomach, chest, the underside of his arms, which Hinata had never considered erotic before but which he was reconsidering now. Then the rest of his clothes, eyes fixed on Hinata. Not performing a striptease, but making a promise.

Hinata broke eye contact first, taking in Komaeda’s proud cock. This was really going to happen, he thought. Komaeda was really going to put his dick in him.

‘Lie down,’ Komaeda said. He climbed back onto the bed, guiding Hinata to spread his legs for him. His fingers caressed the back of Hinata’s thigh. The contact, the anticipation, sent delicious sparks up Hinata’s cock; it moved all on its own.

‘Ah, Hinata-kun … you really want me to do this, huh?’ Komaeda reached for the bottle he’d discarded and removed the stopper. He squeezed the viscous fluid directly over Hinata’s hole; Hinata gasped at the sensation.

‘C-cold,’ he said.

‘It’ll warm up.’ Komaeda rubbed his fingers in the goop, over Hinata’s hole. And then, his eyes on Hinata’s face, pressed a finger inside.

Hinata gasped. It didn’t hurt; it was just a shock. To think that another person’s appendage was inside his body. That Komaeda was the one to do this … wasn’t he meant to terrify Hinata still?

Komaeda moved his finger in and out, massaging the rim of Hinata’s asshole. He pressed deeper and deeper each time.

‘So this is what you feel like inside,’ Komaeda said. Hinata’s cock was stiff and leaking. Komaeda curled his finger, and it sent shocks through Hinata; his hips jerked. He wanted Komaeda to touch him again there.

‘Is it just that you haven’t managed to sleep with any of the others?’ Komaeda pressed a second finger inside him. ‘Is that why you have to settle like this, Hinata-kun?’

‘Wh-who’s settling?’ Hinata said. Komaeda played his fingers round the edge of Hinata’s hole, stretching him out. He’d been right; the lube did feel warm now.

‘It’s alright,’ Komaeda said. ‘I don’t want to know even if you did sleep with someone else.’ His eyes changed, becoming distant and passionate at the same time. He reached his fingers up again, stroking Hinata’s prostate while Hinata squirmed and gasped. ‘Don’t sleep with anyone else. Ever. Hinata-kun, you can never –’

‘Komaeda.’ Hinata panted his name, his vision gone glazed. His cock kept leaking; his legs began to shake. ‘I’m gonna –’ Abruptly, Komaeda pulled his fingers out. Hinata could have wept; he could suddenly feel all the sweat on his body, how dishevelled he must appear.

‘Don’t come on your own, Hinata-kun, that’s very rude.’

‘You were the one doing it!’ The words came disgustingly close to a whine.

‘Right,’ Komaeda said. He reached for the lube again. ‘I’m the one fingering the pathetic reserve course student so that he cries and moans.’ He squeezed the lube over his own cock, and tossed the bottle away again. ‘Is that good luck for me, do you think? I get to see your needy face like this, so surely you’re about to die tomorrow. Will it have been worth it, Hinata-kun?’

‘You’re the one who thinks about it const–’ Hinata said, and then Komaeda pushed into him and Hinata’s words broke off. Sound still kept coming out of him, an embarrassing high-pitched moan.

Komaeda was inside him; Hinata was full up with him, stretched to his limits.

‘Oh, Hinata-kun,’ Komaeda said. He wasn’t moving. ‘Hinata-kun, I think I’ve made a mistake.’

‘What? What mistake?’

‘Hinata-kun, you feel so good –’ the sentence became a wail ‘– I don’t think I can last.’ Komaeda looked so distraught that Hinata wanted to smile.

‘That’s okay,’ Hinata said. ‘You can come.’

Komaeda bit back a moan. He made a concerted effort to draw back and to thrust back in.

So this is what it feels like, Hinata thought. He reached out a hand to brush the damp hair from Komaeda’s forehead. It wasn’t bad. It was probably even good. Komaeda thrust into Hinata once, twice – and Hinata thought it could feel very good indeed. Then – three times – Komaeda cried out and Hinata felt heat spill out inside of him. And that was Komaeda coming inside of him, Komaeda’s semen – and he’d just told Hinata not to come on his own.

‘Jerk me off right now,’ Hinata said, ‘or you’re an asshole.’

Komaeda made a noise like he wanted to cry; he put his hand on Hinata’s dick, leaning forward so that his hair spilled over Hinata’s collarbone. With a decisive, stubborn grip, he tugged Hinata’s cock. Still inside Hinata, still holding him open, even making the hopeless attempt to keep moving in him, he masturbated him so that Hinata’s balls once again grew tight, pushing him once again right to that edge of white-hot, compulsive need –

And this time, over it. Hinata spilled helplessly over his own stomach, with Komaeda’s softening cock still in him. And he thought from Komaeda’s face that Komaeda felt it in his body too and couldn’t bear it, because he cried out. Before dropping his head down against Hinata’s chest, still panting.

Hinata sat up, feeling Komaeda’s cock slide out of him; he thought he was dripping. He kissed Komaeda, taking his head in his hands, and Komaeda kissed him back fervently. Wrapped his arms around him, and whispered in his ear.

‘Sorry, Hinata-kun,’ he said, ‘I guess the bad luck was mine after all. I really wanted to do it for longer.’

‘It’s alright,’ Hinata said, surprised by his own breathlessness. ‘Next time.’

Komaeda said nothing. Hinata stroked his hair, running his fingers through the tangles. He felt Komaeda tremble in the curve of his arm; felt, suddenly, wetness against his neck.

‘Komaeda? Are you crying?’

‘I’m not crying,’ Komaeda said, but his voice gave him away.

‘Why are you crying?’ Hinata pulled back to try and read Komaeda’s face, but Komaeda only turned closer in against him, hiding.

‘Because,’ Komaeda said, ‘how can there be a next time? Even getting to once –’ Komaeda made a noise that was half a whimper, half a hiccup. ‘That was too much luck, Hinata-kun. How can there be a next time?’

Hinata thought about it. The constantly Komaeda had spoken of. The things Komaeda had told him about his luck cycles. The sins Komaeda had committed, and those that Hinata had.

‘If these islands sunk into the sea tomorrow, it would only serve us right, don’t you think?’ Hinata said.

Komaeda hiccupped. ‘Mm-hm.’

‘Whatever happens, happens. But I don’t feel like I’m going to die tomorrow. When I say next time, it’s because I believe we’ll still both be here.’

Komaeda didn’t say anything, but Hinata thought he’d stopped crying.

‘Why don’t you come back and live with the rest of us?’ Hinata said.

‘I don’t want to,’ Komaeda said. Then, quieter, voice muffled against Hinata’s chest: ‘I want you to have to come to me.’

And Hinata supposed he didn’t need to know why. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Okay. I can do that.’