Shameless Love

‘What are you doing?’ Hinata says, when Komaeda comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist.

‘It’s dreadfully impudent of someone like me, I know,’ Komaeda says, his breath warm on Hinata’s neck.

‘I don’t mean that,’ Hinata says. ‘I mean, anyone could see us.’

Komaeda stands so close that Hinata can feel him draw breath.

‘Is that a problem?’ Komaeda says. He takes Hinata’s hands in his. ‘Or are you still trying to pretend you’re not as useless as I am?’

Hinata wriggles from his grip, putting some space between them. ‘It’s not like that,’ he says. Komaeda smiles at him, as if he’s doing Hinata a favour letting him say that.

‘If you’re upset just by a hug,’ Komaeda says, ‘I wonder what it would take to actually infuriate you?’ Still smiling.

‘Stop messing around,’ Hinata says, crossing his arms and blowing the air from his cheeks. He doesn’t meet Komaeda’s eyes, because he knows Komaeda is thinking of something filthy, and Hinata doesn’t want to know about it.

Not out here, in public. Sure, there’s no-one around, but someone could come round the corner at any moment.

Komaeda takes a step closer. ‘Am I embarrassing you?’ he asks. ‘Or maybe –’ he tilts his head slightly, his eyes sharp – ‘are you embarrassed by me?’

‘That’s the same question.’

‘Do you think so?’ Komaeda looks vaguely disappointed.

And Hinata is avoiding the question. Alright, so Komaeda would be embarrassing him, if there were anyone here to see. That’s the problem: if anyone were to see.

He is embarrassed by Komaeda.

And the longer he doesn’t answer, the more knowing Komaeda’s expression grows.

‘Ah well,’ Komaeda says. ‘I suppose I’ll have to settle for being your dirty little secret. Am I right, Hinata-kun?’

‘Don’t be like that,’ Hinata mumbles.

‘Me?’ Komaeda says. ‘I think I’m being very understanding. Of course, you don’t want anyone to know about me. What we’ve been up to. I’m not even worthy to associate with you. Isn’t that right? Let alone ...’

‘Let alone what?’ Hinata can’t help sounding sarcastic.

Komaeda takes another step closer, and he spreads one hand out over Hinata’s crotch. ‘You know what,’ he says, his thumb tracing the seam of Hinata’s trousers.

There’s no-one else around. The courtyard is quiet, apart from the sound of Komaeda’s breath, the sound of Hinata’s own heartbeat. And all the blood going in one direction.

He should step back. Slap Komaeda away. He feels, right now, like Komaeda might slap him back. That would be one way to work out their excess energy.

‘Come on, Hinata,’ Komaeda says. ‘Are you just going to let me get away with it?’ He leans in, not to kiss Hinata, but to bite at his earlobe, the pain small and sharp.

Hinata takes a shuddering breath. ‘What do you care?’ Hinata says. ‘You just do what you want anyway.’

Komaeda pulls away, looking at Hinata with a struck expression. Then he starts to laugh. At first only softly, but then he doesn’t stop.

‘What’s so funny?’ Hinata says. He’s a little peeved that Komaeda has stopped touching him, and annoyed at himself for it.

‘Oh, Hinata-kun,’ Komaeda says, between breaths. ‘You have no idea what I want. No idea.’ He keeps laughing, bent over, until Hinata puts a hand on his shoulder. Then, abruptly, he stops. He looks at Hinata from under his brows, and he says, ‘Don’t look at me like that.’

Hinata doesn’t know what expression his face is making; he isn’t sure how to change it. ‘Sorry,’ he says, and pulls his hand back.

Komaeda sighs, and straightens up. ‘I don’t know whether to love you or hate you,’ he says, and there’s a wistful note in his voice.

Hinata wonders the same thing. ‘Do you want to go somewhere else?’ he says.

Komaeda purses his lips together. ‘No,’ he says. ‘I want to do it where everyone can see.’

He says it so bluntly that Hinata’s whole body goes hot. ‘You’re kidding, right?’

Komaeda’s lip quirks. ‘No,’ he says. ‘I’m not saying we should make an exhibition of ourselves, Hinata-kun. It’s just I want everyone to know what you’re really like.’ He doesn’t make a move toward Hinata; it’s not necessary, with his voice like that.

Hinata makes a frustrated noise, without meaning to.

‘Fine,’ he says, and he grabs Komaeda by the collar and pulls him down into a kiss. Not a chaste kiss either; a wet, filthy kiss. If Komaeda wants to do this in a public place ...

Komaeda backs him up against a wall, hands all over him, bodies pressed tight together. Hinata can feel the swell of Komaeda’s cock pressing against him.

If anyone passes this way, they’ll all be well and truly embarrassed. Or are they too far gone for embarrassment? At a certain point, one can only be shameless.

Maybe Hinata’s getting there.

In the end, they both come fully dressed, grinding up against each other. Hinata’s grateful for the wall behind him then. It keeps him upright.

And as they catch their breath, Komaeda cups Hinata’s face in his hands. He presses a kiss to his lips, almost gently. Something in that gesture makes Hinata’s heart flutter.

He could scare Komaeda off so easily, like this.

He wraps his arms around him instead, hugging him tightly.

He knows what Komaeda wants from him. He’s always known what Komaeda wants from him. But he hasn’t always wanted to give it.

It’s just love.

They fight against it, but it’s still just love.