Backroom Deal

The cops do call the next day. But the reason isn’t what either of them expects. Seokyoon only hears Jongwoo’s half of the conversation, but he watches him take the call, and he sees how Jongwoo’s face shatters.

‘No,’ Jongwoo says, ‘I haven’t seen her since then.’ And, ‘No, we haven’t been in contact. You don’t really mean … I mean, Jieun, she can’t … there’s no way …’

Now Jongwoo’s eyes are wet; he doesn’t make a sound, but Seokyoon sees it. He stands up.

‘Yeah. Of course. I will.’

Seokyoon comes, and he wraps his arms around Jongwoo from the side. Jongwoo goes stiff, but he doesn’t pull away.

‘I’ll do that.’

Jongwoo hands up the call. Seokyoon rests his chin against Jongwoo’s shoulder, and Jongwoo drops a hand to over Seokyoon’s.

‘Jieun,’ he says. ‘They said Jieun … someone killed her.’

Seokyoon kisses Jongwoo’s shoulder. It’s entirely inadequate. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says.

Jongwoo looks down at his phone again; his fingers tighten on it so that they turn white.

‘It was him,’ he says. ‘I know it was.’

‘We don’t know that.’

‘It was him.’ Jongwoo throws his phone – toward the couch, so there’s still no chance of it breaking – and he wrenches himself out of Seokyoon’s grip. ‘I’ll kill him.’

‘No, hyung.’

‘I’ll kill him.’

‘No!’ Seokyoon grabs him again, holding Jongwoo’s hands in his. Jongwoo’s face looks as wild as when he tried to kill Moonjo last time. Maybe the way he looked when he killed Jaeho. ‘Hyung. You can’t. If he did this, then … you just can’t, okay?’

He doesn’t know if Jongwoo is listening. Jongwoo looks everywhere except at Seokyoon.

‘What did the cops say?’ Seokyoon says. ‘They want you to go in?’

Jongwoo’s eyes focus on Seokyoon then. ‘I didn’t do it.’

‘I know, hyung. You were with me all night, remember? If anyone asks I’ll tell them that. And we were at the restaurant too, remember? That aunty said you were handsome; she’ll remember you.’

A look passes over Jongwoo’s face, like he can’t see what relevance that has to anything.

‘We don’t know what happened, okay? We don’t know that he had anything to do with this.’

‘It’s because of me,’ Jongwoo says.

‘You can’t think that. When you talk to the cops, you don’t say anything like that, okay? You haven’t seen her since you broke up, right?’

‘Jaeho was talking shit about her,’ Jongwoo says. His eyes have lost focus again. ‘He always wanted her. That’s why –’

‘Hyung.’ Seokyoon doesn’t want to hear Jongwoo justifying Jaeho’s murder; it makes Seokyoon feel like this is out of control. ‘Do you want me to go with you to the station?’

‘I –’ Jongwoo is on the verge of declining, but Seokyoon’s hands are still wrapped around his and he changes his mind. ‘Yeah. Maybe you better.’

---

While Jongwoo speaks to the police, Seokyoon gets coffee and thinks about messaging Moonjo. Did you do it? He wants the answer to be no, wants Moonjo to deny it even if it is the truth. It will be worse if he does admit it. Worse even than Jongwoo’s own admission of murder.

He doesn’t send the message. It doesn’t seem right to put any of this in text, anyway. If he’s helping Jongwoo get away with murder.

But he wants to ask Moonjo regardless.

Instead of messaging, Seokyoon looks up the number for Moonjo’s dental practice, and he makes an urgent appointment.

---

Jongwoo texts when the police are done with him – it’s only half an hour later, although it felt longer. The cops take a statement from Seokyoon in the waiting room, just confirming he had been with Jongwoo the night before. Seokyoon doesn’t get the feeling they’re suspicious though – although he does get a raised eyebrow when he mentions they’re sharing a room.

‘You know, the rents are so high,’ Seokyoon says, and maybe he leans a little into his accent. ‘It’s better than where we were before though.’ The officer gives his head a little shake, like that’s too much information.

‘Did you ever meet Min Jieun?’ he asks next.

‘Not me,’ Seokyoon says. ‘I only ever saw her picture. It’s not like Jongwoo could bring her back to our place.’ He goes to laugh, before he remembers. ‘It’s really awful,’ he says. ‘I know they broke up, but … Jongwoo was really fond of her.’

It occurs to him that maybe he should feel sadder about it, this stranger’s death. For Jongwoo’s sake, he should feel sad. But she is a stranger, and she left Jongwoo too.

The officer gives him a card and lets them both go.

Outside, the day seems unfairly beautiful.

‘You wanna head home?’ Seokyoon asks. ‘You look pretty rough.’ It’s obvious that Jongwoo has been crying. Seokyoon wonders if he’d cry so much if it were Seokyoon who were dead. That sort of wondering is probably the reason he can’t feel bad about Jieun’s death.

Jongwoo nods, and they catch the bus back together. When Seokyoon asks him what the police said, Jongwoo says, ‘I don’t want to talk about it here.’ His hands are folded over his knees, the knuckles white.

‘But they don’t think you’re involved?’

Jongwoo shakes his head. He wets his lips before he speaks again, his voice only a whisper. ‘They think she met up with Jaeho last night.’

‘No way.’

Jongwoo laughs, only a short burst of sound before he composes himself. His eyes are too wide.

‘When we get home, then,’ Seokyoon says.

---

The police had heard from Jieun’s flatmates that she’d been meeting a guy last night – an old friend from university. From her phone, they’d got Jaeho’s name. They were still trying to get in contact with him – apparently, he wasn’t answering calls.

Jieun had been strangled to death.

When he hears that, Seokyoon’s hand is drawn to his own neck. Jongwoo is lying back on the couch, his arm over his eyes, and doesn’t see.

‘I should never have asked for help,’ Jongwoo says. ‘I should have turned myself in as soon as I did it.’

‘You didn’t know it would end up like this.’

‘Didn’t I? I knew not to trust that guy. I knew, but I asked his help anyway.’

‘You didn’t ask him to do this,’ Seokyoon says. He goes to sit on the floor by the couch, near Jongwoo’s head. ‘You still could turn yourself in,’ Seokyoon says softly, ‘even if it wouldn’t change things for Jieun.’

It would mean Moonjo got punished though. Jongwoo might think the cost for that is worth it. And Jongwoo is miserable enough that Seokyoon wants to say something to make him feel better.

‘Maybe it would be better,’ Jongwoo says. ‘What have I contributed to the world anyway? I’m as bad as any of those guys.’

Seokyoon looks down over his shoulder at Jongwoo’s covered face. ‘Even that guy who was always watching porn with the door open?’

Jongwoo laughs, an awful cracked laugh.

‘If you did turn yourself in, then you really will contribute nothing to the world.’ He’s contradicting himself, he knows. Jongwoo doesn’t say anything.

‘Hey, hyung, if I go out this afternoon, will you be alright on your own? I have an appointment.’

‘Sure,’ Jongwoo mumbles. ‘Things can’t get any worse.’

‘I won’t be long.’ Or else he won’t be back at all.

---

Because it’s the weekend, there’s no-one on reception in the dentist’s office. It feels strange – Seokyoon has to buzz to be let in, and it’s Moonjo who comes to greet him. He’s dressed for work, with a long white coat and a turtleneck underneath, and Seokyoon is struck, not for the first time, by just how attractive he is. Why else would Seokyoon be here, with all Moonjo has done?

He only excuses Moonjo’s behaviour because, when it comes down to it, he wants Moonjo to like him.

‘Come in and sit down,’ Moonjo says. He places a hand on Seokyoon’s back to lead him into the exam room, and just that simple touch sends a message to Seokyoon’s dick. That’s not why he’s here.

In the exam room, Seokyoon sits down on the dentist’s chair obediently. But when Moonjo goes to put the chair back, Seokyoon has to say, ‘There’s nothing wrong with my tooth. It’s healing fine.’

‘I think I should take a look anyway. You were obviously concerned enough to make the appointment.’ There’s a flicker of a smile on his mouth that lets Seokyoon know he knows that was a cover.

‘Look,’ Seokyoon says, and he puts his hand over Moonjo’s. ‘Jongwoo got a call from the police this morning.’

‘Did he?’ Moonjo moves his hand despite Seokyoon, reclining the chair so that Seokyoon is forced to lie back. ‘Nothing to do with the business at his office, I hope.’

‘No,’ Seokyoon says. ‘You already know why, don’t you?’

‘I’m sure you’ll enlighten me,’ Moonjo says. ‘Open your mouth.’

Seokyoon, used to doing what he’s told, opens up. A part of him thinks that he’s letting himself into something worse, but Moonjo only checks inside his mouth, inspecting his back teeth with the mirror.

Seokyoon is aware that while he’s there with his mouth open, his dick is getting hard.

‘You were right,’ Moonjo says. ‘It does seem to be healing nicely.’ He stands back and Seokyoon lets his mouth close. ‘You have good teeth, you know,’ Moonjo adds, as he disposes of his gloves.

‘Mum always insisted,’ Seokyoon says. He touches a hand to his mouth, with the memory of Moonjo’s fingers in it. ‘She never wanted me to have to have any pulled.’

When he glances over, he catches Moonjo’s smile: Moonjo who is still half-turned away from him. It doesn’t help with the erection problem.

Seokyoon sits up on the reclined chair, trying to place himself so that the bulge in his pants is less obvious. It’s not like he came here to play.

‘Did you kill Jongwoo’s ex?’

Moonjo leans back against the bench behind him. ‘Is that what the police called about?’

Seokyoon nods, not looking at Moonjo. ‘He had to go in and give a statement. They said she met up with Jongwoo’s boss last night.’

Moonjo nods like he’s hearing this for the first time. ‘And how is Jongwoo? Is he coping?’

‘He feels like it’s his fault.’

The smile flickers again, but Moonjo’s eyes are downcast; it’s not a smile meant for Seokyoon.

‘We’re none of us responsible for the choices of others,’ Moonjo says, ‘don’t you agree?’

‘I –’

Moonjo catches his eye then, his eyes bright as a predator’s, and Seokyoon is captured.

‘I don’t know,’ Seokyoon says.

Moonjo breaks his gaze first, his eyes flicking down Seokyoon’s body. ‘Why did you come here?’

‘I … because of Jongwoo. I wanted to know if it was really you …’

Moonjo steps closer to him again, lifting his eyebrow when Seokyoon runs out of words.

‘Is that all?’

‘He’s devastated, you know?’

‘Do you wish it was you?’

‘What?’

‘Do you wish it was your death he was devastated over?’ Moonjo steps closer again, and it feels as if he looms over Seokyoon.

‘I don’t want to die,’ Seokyoon says. It’s almost a squeak.

Moonjo’s lip curls, and he leans over Seokyoon, reaches between Seokyoon’s legs to give Seokyoon’s dick a squeeze; that’s another noise Seokyoon makes. Moonjo lets go.

‘But you do want to devastate him?’

‘No! I want him to be happy. Happier.’

‘He won’t be happy until he learns to accept himself,’ Moonjo says. ‘What he’s capable of.’

The words barely get through to Seokyoon’s brain. He wants Moonjo to touch him again. Even if it’s to hurt him – the end doesn’t matter. Maybe something of that shows in his eyes; Moonjo’s expression softens.

‘And you,’ he says. ‘What are you capable of?’

Seokyoon doesn’t know. He can distract people a little while, with music or sex or a willing ear; he can ease their burdens a little while.

‘I’m not on the same level,’ Seokyoon says. It almost feels like flirting. And he’s rewarded, because Moonjo tilts his chin up with his fingers. Seokyoon’s heart speeds up, expectant. Surely Moonjo isn’t going to kiss him.

‘Maybe,’ Moonjo says, searching his eyes. ‘You don’t give up though, do you? With Jongwoo.’

‘I’m just helping a friend out,’ Seokyoon says breathily. ‘Like I said, I want him to be happy.’

‘Is that all?’

‘Because of me,’ Seokyoon says. ‘I want him to be happy because of me. To be grateful.’ The words, as he says them, sound selfish. Self-serving.

‘To be devastated, when you’re gone?’

‘Stop saying that,’ Seokyoon says. ‘You make me feel like I’m not going to leave here.’

Moonjo tilts his own head, like he’s considering it. When his hair falls in front of his eyes, it just makes him look endearing. Like he’s not potentially plotting Seokyoon’s death.

‘You’d better convince me then,’ Moonjo says, ‘that you’re worth keeping around.’

That must be the cue for Seokyoon to blow him.

There’s definitely something messed up with Seokyoon, because he feels like this was the whole reason he came here. He heard Jongwoo’s accusations and instead of taking them as a warning, he’s taken them as enticement. Maybe it’s because when Jongwoo talks about Moonjo, Seokyoon finds himself wanting to insert himself between them. It doesn’t matter if Jongwoo hates Moonjo, he’s still paying attention to him. Maybe it doesn’t matter if he hates Seokyoon either, as long as he pays attention to him.

Seokyoon sucks Moonjo’s dick nicely, expertly, with care and attention, waiting for the moment when Moonjo snaps and starts to facefuck him. Moonjo pulls Seokyoon’s hair hard as he angles his throat to take him, shoving himself deep even when it makes Seokyoon gag, not caring at all for Seokyoon’s comfort, for his bodily integrity. And Seokyoon kneads his own dick through his pants, not even able to coordinate himself to unzip his trousers but rutting into his own palm, until Moonjo grabs his arm and forces his hand away.

Moonjo pulls his cock from Seokyoon’s mouth, but it’s not because he’s done. Seokyoon’s throat feels raw, and he gulps for air.

Moonjo lowers the chair. Seokyoon leans back gingerly, and Moonjo moves to stand at the end, his dick standing proud above Seokyoon’s face. And Seokyoon knows what Moonjo wants, and he shimmies back so that Moonjo can fuck his throat from above.

Moonjo puts a hand over Seokyoon’s throat as he thrusts in, and Seokyoon wonders if he can feel it, can feel his own cock inside.

It’s easier, from this angle, to take Moonjo’s cock without gagging. That doesn’t mean Seokyoon can always breathe – when Moonjo shoves himself in so far that his balls rub against Seokyoon’s face, and he doesn’t pull out entirely before he thrusts in again – then Seokyoon thinks he might choke to death without Moonjo ever applying pressure to his throat at all. He’ll pass out like this, and who knows what Moonjo would do if that happened. Would he stop? Would he keep going? Would Seokyoon start to fight him before it got that far?

But Moonjo isn’t quite that careless of Seokyoon’s need to breath, and Seokyoon is almost sorry for it. He pulls back far enough that Seokyoon can breathe, and he takes his hand off Seokyoon’s throat. The thought that he might do something worse chills Seokyoon, or excites him – but all Moonjo does is he leans further over Seokyoon’s body, and he puts his hand down over Seokyoon’s dick. And resumes fucking his mouth energetically, while leaning his weight down. It would be painful, except that Seokyoon is too aroused for anything involving his dick to be painful. It’s the contact he needs.

Seokyoon jerks his hips up against Moonjo’s hand, not knowing if he should be offended that Moonjo doesn’t jerk him off properly or grateful that Moonjo is touching him at all. No, he’s definitely grateful that Moonjo is touching him, that’s he’s not just being treated as a cocksleeve.

Moonjo continues to abuse his throat, and he presses down on Seokyoon’s dick harder, until it does hurt. But Seokyoon can’t cry out, because his mouth is too full; his throat is too full. And Moonjo doesn’t pull out, he keeps his crotch pressed against Seokyoon’s face, and Seokyoon can’t breathe around him; he can’t breathe –

And at the same time as Seokyoon’s body is screaming for oxygen, Moonjo relieves the pressure on Seokyoon’s cock. And then Seokyoon comes, spilling in his fucking trousers.

Moonjo pulls out, and Seokyoon can taste his semen on his tongue. For a moment, Seokyoon just hangs his head back and gasps for air. He feels strangely light, his body warm from his orgasm and from being able to fill his lungs again.

Moonjo wipes his hand on his jacket.

‘I’m not going to hurt you,’ he says.

Seokyoon rolls over, lifts his weight up on his arms, still taking deep breaths, trying to catch up on the air he’s been denied.

He turns his head to look at Moonjo. With the turtleneck on, you can’t see the bruises Jongwoo left. Moonjo, Seokyoon thinks, is just as messed up about Jongwoo as he is.

Everything changes in Seokyoon’s mind, with that thought. That Moonjo is doing this because he’s jealous. Seokyoon is going to go home and sleep in the same room as Jongwoo, while Moonjo is going to go back to that awful hostel alone. Moonjo likes Jongwoo so much that he would kill for him. And the reason he’s not killing Seokyoon, despite his jealousy, is not because Seokyoon is willing to put up with all sorts of shit in bed.

It’s because Seokyoon came here. Because Seokyoon is a link keeping them connected. Not as much as murder, maybe, but still …

‘I know why you did it,’ Seokyoon says.

Moonjo lifts his eyebrows.

‘I get it. I’m sure Jongwoo gets it too, even though …’ Jongwoo blames himself. He’ll never be grateful. But he must understand. He must know why Moonjo killed Jieun, the story he’s telling. To cover up Jongwoo’s crimes.

Seokyoon tries to get off the chair, but his head is swimming. Moonjo grabs him before he can faint, sits him back down.

Why does Seokyoon have to like him so much? Why can’t he just choose one side or the other?

Moonjo offers him a cup of water, and Seokyoon drinks it. He must really seem pathetic, if Moonjo is being nice like this.

Pathetic, but he still has something Moonjo doesn’t.

‘I didn’t tell him I was coming to see you,’ Seokyoon says. ‘He’d be mad.’

Moonjo smiles a little then. ‘You keep making him mad,’ he says, ‘it won’t be me you need to worry about.’

‘You’re probably right.’

Moonjo lets him clean up before he leaves.

‘Are you sticking around here?’ Seokyoon asks, when Moonjo escorts him to the door.

‘I’ve got some things to catch up on,’ Moonjo says, ‘as I’m already here.’

‘Thanks for coming out,’ Seokyoon says, his voice dropping to a mumble.

‘It’s no problem.’

Seokyoon wonders what it is Moonjo does with his time. When he’s not working, or messing with Jongwoo. Cleaning up after him. Reading the books he reads. Trying to get into his head.

Maybe Seokyoon should give Kafka a shot after all.

---

When Seokyoon gets home, he thinks Jongwoo has gone out – there are no lights on, and the living room and kitchen are empty. Seokyoon heads straight for the shower. Afterwards though, when he goes to the bedroom for a change of clothes, Jongwoo is there, lying on his back on the bed with a hand over his eyes. His phone is lying on the bed beside him.

Seokyoon lets out half a yelp, and Jongwoo turns his head to squint at him.

‘Geez, hyung, you gave me a fright. I thought you must have gone out.’

‘What’s the point?’ Jongwoo says.

‘I don’t know,’ Seokyoon says. ‘Fresh air?’

Jongwoo turns onto his side, facing away from Seokyoon. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

‘You don’t have to go anywhere,’ Seokyoon says. He sits on the edge of the bed behind Jongwoo. Hesitates a moment, before he moves Jongwoo’s phone and swings his legs up to lie down next to him. He wraps an arm over him and presses his face against the back of Jongwoo’s neck. Jongwoo gives a little jerk, like a flinch, but he doesn’t pull away.

‘Were you working?’ Jongwoo says. His voice is thick.

‘Yeah.’ Seokyoon strokes down Jongwoo’s arm. ‘Sorry. I should have cancelled.’

‘One of us needs to get paid. Like you said, I’m out of a job.’

Seokyoon doesn’t say anything, just gives him a little squeeze.

‘I thought, maybe I should move back home.’

The words, however hesitant, are a knife to Seokyoon’s heart. ‘Really?’

‘Jieun’s the reason I came here. If she’s not here –’

He hadn’t said that when Jieun broke up with him.

‘Maybe it feels like that now,’ Seokyoon says. ‘But hyung, she wasn’t the only reason you came here, right?’

Jongwoo doesn’t answer right away. Then he curls his body a little tighter and says, ‘Right.’

‘And you don’t need to decide right away. I don’t mind if you lean on me, for a bit.’

‘Right,’ Jongwoo says again, but it’s just a sound. Seokyoon doesn’t know if he even realises what Seokyoon is trying to say. And it’s a useless promise anyway, isn’t it? Seokyoon’s incomings won’t stretch to the two of them. Not if he wants to keep living the way he’s living now.

There’s someone else, though, who has an interest in Jongwoo staying in Seoul. One who, given what he does and where he lives, must have a tidy sum squared away. He’s not going to suggest that to Jongwoo though. It’s not like Jongwoo’s in a state to listen to advice anyway.

It’s comfortable, lying next to Jongwoo like this. Even though Jongwoo is in pain, it’s comfortable.

Seokyoon doesn’t want to lose that.