Komaru on Jabberwock Island

When Toko visited the next morning, she found the library on the islands was better than she had expected. They had books in a variety of languages, and a wide-ranging selection – if somewhat out of date.

Toko had settled in with one of the early works of a novelist she was watching, when Komaeda came in, and the silence of the library was disturbed.

‘Fukawa-san, here you are.’

‘Don’t say you were looking for me,’ Toko said, her body drawing up tight.

‘No, just I saw Komaru-san before, so I wondered.’

‘You didn’t say anything weird to her, did you?’

‘Geez, you really think so little of me.’ Komaeda sighed. ‘But I suppose that’s what I deserve.’

‘You’re damn right it is.’

To her surprise, Komaeda laughed.

‘What’s funny?’

‘Oh, nothing, it’s just refreshing. You don’t mince your words, do you, Fukawa-san?’

‘Other people might think it better to make nice and get along, but all that means is you have to spend time with irritating people.’ She looked at him sidelong across the room.

‘Ah, you’re saying I should shut up, are you?’

‘I came here to read,’ Toko said. ‘You must’ve come here for a reason too.’ Toko wondered if she could read, with Komaeda there. Maybe she should take the book for a walk.

‘You’re right,’ Komaeda said. ‘I’ll leave you alone now.’

She watched him over the top of her book, as he went to find his own reading material. She had hoped he might take it and go, but instead he sat at the table nearby, his choices laid out in front of him.

Toko kept reading.

For ten minutes, maybe, Komaeda kept silent. She’d only just become absorbed in the text again when he spoke again.

‘Say, Fukawa-san. Do you really think it’s okay for Komaru-san to get to know the people here?’

‘I thought you were going to leave me alone. Why are you asking?’

‘I was just wondering.’

‘Komaru can do what she likes. You don’t expect me to be jealous, do you?’

‘Hm, I’m not sure.’

Toko did tend to be jealous. But Komaru was always going to be the sort of person who got along with others. Toko had to accept that.

‘I’ll admit, I was surprised at the two of you,’ Komaeda went on. ‘But you are friends, aren’t you?’

‘Of course we’re friends.’

‘Sounds nice. But of course you’re not bothered being left on your own. You really do get along well.’

He spoke in such an even-tempered voice that Toko almost didn’t notice he was getting her back up.

‘That’s right,’ she said. ‘We even sleep in the same bed, so it’s not like we have to spend every minute of every day together.’

‘Oh!’ Komaeda said, eyes going wide in a surprise that Toko thought he was faking. ‘Did I misunderstand? I thought, everyone knows of your dedication to Togami Byakuya-san … but then, you did choose to stay with Komaru-san in the end … but I didn’t realise …’

‘You!’ Toko said. ‘What are you, some sort of stalker?’

‘Everyone knows that much,’ Komaeda said, and this time his surprise seemed genuine. ‘But that your relationship extended to sharing a bed … I didn’t know that.’

‘What are you suggesting, you pervert? Are you saying two girls can’t share a bed without it becoming some sordid male fantasy –’

‘Ah, that’s not what I’m saying at all …’

‘Well, you’re wrong! Komaru and I have only the pure bond of friendship! You’ll have to find something else to wank off about!’

‘I really don’t think you should be concerned about that.’

Toko scoffed. ‘Men are all the same.’

‘You’re getting quite het up about this, aren’t you?’

She was. Her book had fallen off her lap when she’d leaned forward. She took a deep breath and picked it up again. She was never going to be able to read in peace like this.

‘I’m going to go somewhere else.’

‘And now I’ve scared you off. I really am a worthless human being.’

Toko drew her breath in through her teeth. She could have told him she agreed, but that would have meant dragging this out even further. She took the high ground instead, and removed herself from the situation.

Even when she tried, though, she still didn’t feel like reading any more.

---

While Toko was being bothered by Komaeda, Komaru met Ibuki and Hinata outside the hotel foyer. Komaru had expected, when Ibuki had invited her, that Ibuki would have some sort of practice space, and that she’d give Komaru a tambourine and then when Komaru failed even at keeping time, Ibuki would realise she was a lost cause.

Maybe Ibuki did have a practice space, but that wasn’t where she led them today. Instead, she dragged them to the back room of an old clothing store on one of the other islands.

‘What are we doing here?’ Komaru here, still looking around in case there were instruments hidden under all the fabric.

‘Finding you and Hajime-chan costumes!’ Ibuki said. ‘Dontcha know that’s one of the top ten most important things for any band? You gotta have an aesthetic!’ Ibuki threw a peace sign, her smile wide.

‘How do you even come up with something like that?’ Hinata said.

‘Hm. Obviously Hajime-chan is going to have trouble with it, because his fashion sense is boring. So you should just try to match Ibuki.’

Hinata looked alarmed. Perhaps he was imagining himself in stockings.

‘I’ve never tried to have an aesthetic before,’ Komaru said. ‘I always just wanted to look –’ she always felt self-conscious about this word now – ‘normal.’

‘Nonono,’ Ibuki said, ‘that won’t do. We gotta fix you guys up, before you disappear of boring.’ She put a finger to her chin, thoughtful. ‘Imma start with Hajime-chan. Komaru-chan, you gotta find me everything that’s in red.’

‘You’re putting me all in red?’

‘Er, wrong, Hajime-chan. Obviously we gotta alternate red and black. We’re gonna have to do some customisation. You can sew, right?’

‘I –’ Hajime frowned – ‘can sew.’

‘Remember, it doesn’t count unless you’ve actually done it before.’

‘I can sew a button,’ he conceded.

‘Argh, why you gotta do this to me!’ Ibuki drew a deep breath. ‘It’s alright. This is just another experience to bring us closer together.’

‘If you’re going to alternate colours,’ Komaru said, pulling clothes from the piles they were in, ‘won’t it take a long time to sew?’

‘We’ll just tack it first,’ Ibuki said. ‘We can use the machine later.’

‘Uh, Komaru,’ Hinata said, ‘that’s a skirt.’

‘Huh?’ Komaru hadn’t actually noticed. ‘Well, Mioda-san did say everything that’s red.’

‘Hah, that’s right!’ Ibuki said. ‘We gotta show off Hajime-chan’s legs.’

Hinata looked stunned.

‘Maybe if we did, like, a half skirt over pants,’ Komaru said.

‘Now you’re talking!’

Hinata squeezed his eyes shut, looking like he wished he was anywhere else. But he didn’t actually walk out, which was practically permission for Ibuki and Komaru to do as they pleased.

In the end, they had Hinata dressed in black and red. Ibuki had cut two shirts through the centre, while Hinata looked on aghast, and tacked the opposing colours together. For the bottom half of his outfit, she went with Komaru’s idea – cutting a chunk out of a skirt in kilted red fabric, and pinning that over trousers.

‘Now, Hajime-chan, it’s time to get naked!’

‘What?’

Ibuki brightened her smile. ‘You gotta try it on. Or else Ibuki won’t know what needs fixing.’ She held the outfit out to him in both hands. There were still a lot of pins in it.

‘Ibuki won’t peek,’ Ibuki declared, turning herself around in a half-pirouette. She grabbed Komaru’s hand to turn her too.

Hinata grumbled, but he did as he was told. Komaru could hear him discarding his ordinary clothes, putting on his new ones. At one point he said ‘ow’.

‘Sorry, Hajime-chan!’ Ibuki said. ‘Promise the real thing won’t have any pins.’ She turned her head just enough to meet Komaru’s eyes with a cheeky expression.

Komaru found she was excited to see what they’d come up with.

At last, Hinata let out a long sigh. ‘I’m done.’

‘Woohoo!’ Ibuki said, springing back round. ‘Hajime-chan, you look so cool.’

‘I feel stupid.’

‘Nu-uh. He looks cool, right, Komaru-chan?’

‘Definitely,’ Komaru said. ‘The shirt matches his eyes.’

Hinata muttered something, and he covered those eyes with one hand.

‘Don’t be shy,’ Ibuki said. ‘If you want, you can be broody, but not shy!’

‘Seriously?’

‘Mm-hmm. The ladies love a guy who just stands there and looks broody. Right, Komaru-chan?’

The question was so sudden that Komaru just giggled.

‘Yeah. Ibuki’s always right about this sort of thing.’ Ibuki clapped her hands together. ‘Now we gotta do Komaru-chan next!’

It was strange, but hanging out with the two of them, these strangers who weren’t even the same age as her, made Komaru feel like she was back in middle school. Like the time she and her friends had gone to one of Sayaka’s concerts and gotten dressed up beforehand. Back then, Komaru had wanted to look trendy, but she hadn’t put thought into her clothing expressing anything more than that. When she’d poured over Sayaka’s outfits, she’d never thought of wearing anything like that herself. Because she was just ordinary. Because she didn’t want to stand out.

But Ibuki stood out, and she made it seem like something fun.

Komaru was put into black too, but black with splashes of bright colour – orange and yellow, where Ibuki was pink and purple. Ibuki found Komaru a bodice to wear over her skirt, and then she tightened around Komaru’s waist. Ibuki’s fingers were light, but for a moment Komaru felt like she wouldn’t have minded if they were a little firmer. Then she realised what she was thinking, and she threw the thought away.

‘Alright!’ Ibuki said, when she had tied a ribbon in Komaru’s hair, pulling her fringe back from her face. Her hands lingered a moment. ‘You’re done.’

‘Is it okay?’ Komaru said, looking down at herself, and then across to where Ibuki had put a full-length mirror.

‘Okay?’ Ibuki said. ‘Komaru-chan looks sexy! Right, Hajime-chan?’

‘S-sure,’ Hinata said, too embarrassed by the suggestion to meet Komaru’s eyes. It made her relax a little.

Probably Ibuki was just trying to flatter her, but Komaru didn’t mind. It was nice, to be flattered.

---

‘After all that,’ Komaru said to Hinata as they walked back – Ibuki had run off with their half-finished costumes somewhere – ‘we didn’t even talk about instruments.’

‘So far,’ Hinata said, ‘she’s told me I’m on drums. That’s as far as we’ve got.’

‘Maybe we’re meant to take the initiative? Not that I guess it matters for me … Is there even a drum kit on this island?’

‘Yeah. One of our “day trips” was finding as many instruments as we could. There were a couple of drum kits. Lots of guitars. People like to come on holiday and play guitar on the beach.’

‘I don’t think I could do that.’

‘Why not?’

‘I’ve just never been good at that sort of thing.’

‘I think if you want to learn, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been good at it – hey, isn’t that Fukawa?’

The figure approaching them from up ahead was indeed Toko. Komaru waved at her.

‘Where were you?’ Toko said, when they drew closer. ‘I thought something had happened.’

‘Huh? We were trying on clothes. With Mioda-san, like I said.’

‘Trying on clothes?’ Toko looked suspiciously at the two of them. ‘I thought you were having a band meet. For that band you’re not in.’

‘Well, yeah. It kind of turned into a costume thing. It’s a shame you weren’t there, Toko-chan; we could have dressed you up too.’ Toko would have fought every step of the way, but Komaru was still curious as to how Ibuki might have styled her.

‘I don’t need dressing up.’

‘Hey, I’ll see you two later,’ Hinata said. Probably he could sense the that Toko was on the edge of a rant. Komaru said goodbye, and then she looked at Toko a little nervously.

‘What are you so worked up about? It’s not that late.’

‘You were trying on clothes,’ Toko said. ‘With a guy?’

‘It’s not like that.’

‘Maybe not for you,’ Toko said, ‘you’re too dumb to be anything ecept innocent. But that Hinata –’

‘It’s fine, Toko-chan,’ Komaru said. ‘I think I was actually in more danger from Mioda-san.’ She laughed, nervous about actually admitting it, even though Toko would think she was joking.

‘You … We’re meant to be keeping our defences up!’

‘I don’t think that’s actually what my brother intended.’

‘What, so you’re gonna … make friends? Fall in love, have babies, decide to stay?’

‘That escalated quickly …’

‘Well?’

‘Why shouldn’t we make friends while we’re here? Didn’t you talk to anyone today?’

Toko looked away. ‘I was at the library. I’ve been reading.’

‘That’s so like you, Toko-chan.’

‘Maybe. There was an annoying cockroach.’

‘... you mean a person, right?’

‘Who cares! Let’s get back to the hotel.’

---

Toko watched Komaru whenever she spoke to Hinata later that evening – they were both perfectly pleasant with each other, but that didn’t mean much. There could be roiling passions under the surface, waiting to overflow. Toko knew a little something about that.

She was trying not to think about what Komaeda had said. What he’d implied. The reason Toko had chosen to stay by Komaru’s side all this time, past the point of excuses.

Toko wasn’t a lesbian. Your split personality didn’t make a habit of killing pretty young men if she was lusting for nubile young women all along. Stupid, energetic girls like Komaru, who were nicer than they had any right to be, and touched you more than they needed to, which was ever.

What Komaeda had said shouldn’t have got to her. And yet, as he’d intended, it did.

So Toko watched Komaru with Hinata. What she failed to notice, then, was that the person that Komaru herself was most enchanted with was Ibuki.

Ibuki was loud and gregarious – it was only natural that she would claim a seat herself next to Komaru at dinner. Toko didn’t notice because she tried to block that sort of person out.

But Komaru noticed, because she remembered Ibuki’s hands on her that afternoon. The thought she’d had, when Ibuki had belted her up – that she wouldn’t have minded her hands wandering.

‘I finished your costume!’ Ibuki told her. ‘You’re gonna be rocking.’

‘Well,’ Komaru said, ‘it’s not as if I’ve got anywhere to wear it.’

‘Ibuki will put on another show. Even if you’re not ready for the stage, you can dress up.’

‘That would be fun.’

‘We’re only going to be here a week,’ Toko said, from her spot on Komaru’s other side.

‘Only if Ibuki can’t convince Komaru to stay longer.’

‘And how do you propose to do that? I’m here too.’

Ibuki leaned forward over the table, so that she could see Toko better past Komaru. ‘I’ll just have to convince you too, Toko-chan.’

Toko drew in an outraged breath. ‘You don’t call me that,’ she said. ‘Only Komaru calls me that.’

Ibuki frowned. ‘Tokocchi?’

‘Fukawa. You’ll call me Fukawa.’

‘That doesn’t seem very friendly.’

‘Because –’ Toko hesitated over her next words, knowing Komaru didn’t like her being too rude. ‘We only just met.’

‘Toko-chan’s not got much experience being friendly,’ Komaru said cheerfully, and Toko kicked her under the table. Komaru ignored her.

‘I can see that,’ Ibuki said. ‘Never mind, never mind. Ibuki can be patient.’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Toko muttered. ‘We’ll be on a boat in six days.’

‘You never know,’ Komaru said, ‘something might happen to the boat.’

‘Don’t even say that!’

Ibuki laughed, listening to the two of them. ‘You two are good friends, huh? Man, Ibuki’s jealous.’

Toko dropped her outraged voice. ‘Why? Don’t you have friends here?’

‘It’s not that,’ Ibuki said. ‘There’s friends and then there’s friends.’ She looked across the table. ‘Right, Hajime-chan?’

‘Why’re you bringing me into it?’ Hinata asked.

‘Come on, you know what I mean.’ Ibuki’s sly grin spread wider.

‘Are you trying to play matchmaker?’ Toko asked.

It was like a shutter went down over Ibuki’s eyes. ‘Definitely not,’ she said.

Toko narrowed her eyes. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course she’s sure,’ Komaru said. ‘Like you said, we’ll be on a boat in six days.’

Toko remained unconvinced.

---

Their next ‘band meet’ turned into raiding the kitchen for snacks, turned into an impromptu cooking lesson with Hanamura. Who also tried to hit on Komaru, but Ibuki said, ‘Nonono, hands off! Komaru-chan’s already claimed.’

‘I’m not sure that’s the right way to talk about her,’ Hinata said.

Komaru just laughed awkwardly. ‘I’m sure neither of them mean it.’

‘Nuh-uh,’ Ibuki said, ‘Ibuki absolutely means it.’ She looked pleased with herself for saying it, and Komaru found herself, slowly, heating up, her chest growing hot before her face.

‘Oh-ho,’ Hanamura said, ‘it’s like that, is it? I don’t see why that means you need to leave me out –’

‘You know Komaru’s here to report back on us, right?’ Hinata said. Hanamura looked at him blankly.

‘What’s that got to do with it? I promise, Komaru-san isn’t going to have any complaints.’

‘Maybe we can just change the subject,’ Komaru said. ‘I feel like the last piece of cake.’

‘We can do cake next,’ Hanamura said. ‘Everybody gets a piece!’

‘Somehow it still sounds sleazy.’

---

They ended up taking the cake and a variety of savoury snacks back to Ibuki’s room. Ibuki had finished their costumes and had them piled together on the bed. She noodled idly with her guitar while they ate and chatted. The sound was muted without the amplifier, and Komaru found herself watching Ibuki’s hands more than she was listening.

She wondered what exactly Ibuki had meant, when she’d said Komaru was ‘already claimed’. Maybe it was retrograde for Komaru to find the thought a thrilling prospect.

She wished they really could be in a band. Even if Komaru would be a let down. She liked the idea of hanging out with Ibuki more. Staying up late, laughing and talking. What Ibuki’s callouses from the guitar might feel like on Komaru’s skin.

‘We better clear this up before dinner,’ Hinata said.

Ibuki jumped to her feet, still with her guitar in her hands.

‘Don’t forget your costumes!’

‘Do we need to take them now?’ Hinata said. His barely veiled alarm made Komaru snicker.

‘Whaddaya saying, Hajime-chan? Ibuki’s room isn’t a storage unit! Although that would be useful.’

‘Don’t you have these whole islands to yourself?’ Komaru asked.

‘I mean for the band!’ Ibuki said. She emphasised her words with two swift chords on the guitar. ‘We need somewhere to store all our gear. Hajime-chan, you should get on that.’

‘Sure,’ Hinata said, ‘I’ll get on that.’ His voice was so dry that Komaru couldn’t tell if he were sincere or not.

They took the costumes anyway.

‘It is cool that Mioda-san can just sit there and come up with stuff like that,’ Komaru said. ‘I wish I had that kind of talent.’

Hinata’s expression was wry. ‘You can’t say that if you’ve never tried.’

‘Like I could impress someone like her,’ Komaru said.

Hinata looked thoughtful.

‘I think Mioda would be impressed if you did just try. I have an idea about that, if you have some time tomorrow?’

‘Really? But you don’t need to help me with this.’

‘It’s fine.’

‘Alright, then.’ She wondered if Hinata knew what her motive actually was. ‘After lunch again?’

‘Sure. I’ll come to your room.’

‘Um. Toko-chan might be there then.’

‘Ah.’ Whatever Hinata had in mind, Toko’s presence probably wasn’t going to be conducive. ‘You come to me, then?’

‘Sure.’

They’d got to Komaru’s room by that point. ‘I’ll see you then!’ Komaru said, as Toko opened the door.

Hinata nodded at her, and at Toko, and left.

‘What?’ Toko said. ‘Are you meeting him again?’

‘Uh-huh,’ Komaru said, stepping inside. Toko shifted to let her in.

‘What’s that you’ve got? Is that your … costume?’ The way she pronounced the word sounded very dubious.

‘Don’t laugh,’ Komaru said. ‘Mioda-san made it for me.’

‘I’m not laughing,’ Toko said. She knit her brows together, looking at the clothes in Komaru’s arms. ‘Can I see what it looks like?’

‘Oh, sure!’ Komaru said. She began to unfold the clothes so she could get changed. ‘It kind of doesn’t really feel like me,’ she said, when she pulled the bodice on over her top and skirt. As she tightened it, she wondered what Toko was thinking – she’d probably think it pushed up her boobs too much and made her look slutty.

She really hoped Toko didn’t say anything like that.

‘How does it look?’ she asked, when she was finished dressing. She tugged the bodice smooth, scared to look up and see Toko’s unimpressed look. ‘It’s probably too much.’

‘I guess it’s okay,’ Toko said, ‘for a stage costume.’

Her voice sounded strange; when Komaru looked up, she had her fist pressed in front of her mouth. But she didn’t seem like she was hiding laughter.

‘Just okay?’

Toko drew a deep breath. ‘It’s very fetching.’

‘Fetching,’ Komaru repeated, and she laughed. ‘It’s so like you to use a word like that, Toko-chan. You couldn’t just say it looks cute.’

‘Why?’ Toko said. ‘Is that what Hinata said?’

‘Hinata-san? Noooo.’ She drew out the ‘no’, thinking of Hinata’s awkward reaction when Ibuki had asked if he thought Komaru looked sexy. Probably it was about as awkward as Toko being asked to say she looked cute.

‘You’re remembering something,’ Toko said. ‘What did he say?’

‘Nothing! It was Mioda-san’s idea anyway!’

‘That girl has too much energy,’ Toko muttered.

‘But I’m glad you like it, Toko-chan.’

‘Like?’

‘Yeah. Isn’t that what you meant?’

‘I guess.’ Toko lowered her eyes. ‘I’m not sure you should wear it around, though.’

‘Well, it’s not like we’re actually going to put on a performance,’ Komaru said. ‘Don’t you think it would be a good crime-fighting outfit?’ She mimed drawing the truth gun; Toko shuddered.

‘Absolutely not,’ Toko said. ‘No-one would take you seriously.’

‘No-one takes me seriously anyway …’

‘And if you dress like that at home, that girl is just going to get ideas.’

‘Don’t say that …’

‘She loves cute things.’

‘Toko-chan! You’re making it sound like something bad.’

Toko snickered, and didn’t look apologetic when Komaru glowered at her.

‘You’re so mean,’ Komaru said.

‘It’s not mean,’ Toko said. ‘It’s realistic.’

Komaru flopped back on the bed and kicked her legs out like a child, hoping she could catch Toko’s shins, but Toko stepped back.

‘I’ll get Mioda-san to make you an outfit too,’ Komaru said, ‘then you’ll be sorry.’

‘Why would that make me sorry?’

‘Can you imagine? Someone telling you you look cute?’

‘That would never happen.’

Komaru sat upright. ‘What, you don’t even want to hear those words from Togami-san? “Oh, Fukawa.”’ She put on a fake voice. ‘“You actually look like a girl for once –”’

‘Stop there,’ Toko said. ‘Don’t you taint my fantasies with your putrid imagination.’

It was Komaru’s turn to laugh, and be scowled at. ‘To be honest, I can’t imagine Togami-san saying “cute”.’

‘Well,’ Toko said, ‘at least your characterisation isn’t completely terrible.’