Love Hotel V3

Komaeda woke up on a deck chair with a neckache and more beer bottles on the ground next to him than he remembered anyone drinking. He wasn’t the only one sleeping in the open – Akamatsu was still there, but she had merited a blanket being placed over her. Komaeda wondered if Saihara had done that.

The sun had begun to paint the horizon in its dawn colours; that was probably why Komaeda had woken. It was pretty, but it meant it was early. Their morning activities would still be far way away.

Hinata was, like him, just waking up. Komaeda saw him from across the pool – he could have left him alone, but the opportunity to see Hinata’s early-morning face was too alluring. Komaeda walked around the pool to meet him, stopping to get drinks from the vending machine.

Hinata still seemed confused about the situation, when Komaeda held one of the drinks out to him. He took the bottle with some suspicion. His hair was very sticky-uppy.

‘Don’t worry,’ Komaeda said. ‘It’s still sealed. I’m not trying to drug you or anything.’

‘That’s not what I was thinking,’ Hinata said. He undid the lid and took a glug of the cold tea. ‘I thought Usami would have made us return to our rooms.’

‘Perhaps this was part of her plan.’ Komaeda took a drink of his own tea.

‘Making us all hung over?’

‘Are you hung over, Hinata-kun?’

‘Aren’t you?’

Komaeda shook his head. ‘If I drink too much I tend to wake up in strange places. So I stop early.’

‘Right.’ Hinata rubbed his head; Komaeda supposed he had a headache. Still, he didn’t seem annoyed that Komada was talking to him. ‘That’s sensible.’

‘Do you have a headache? I can get you some paracetamol.’

Hinata made a face. ‘It’s not that bad.’

Hinata wasn’t sitting particularly near anyone, the way Komaeda had been. Komaeda didn’t remember him being on his own last night; maybe whoever he’d been talking to had left him to sleep in a real bed.

Gingerly, Komaeda sat on the deck chair next to Hinata’s. He was worried Hinata might object, but Hinata didn’t say anything.

They both turned their faces toward the rising sun.

‘Do you think we’re actually going to be allowed to leave here?’ Hinata said.

‘If Usami’s telling the truth,’ Komaeda said, ‘then surely you will, Hinata-kun.’ Because people liked him, even if there was nothing special about him. Because Komaeda liked him, and if Komaeda did, then surely someone Hinata liked better could too.

‘I don’t know,’ Hinata said. And that insecurity was charming too.

They didn’t talk any more, about what Komaeda had supposedly told Hanamura to do, or what it was they’d done themselves. They watched the sun rise, and when Hinata had finished his tea, he said, ‘I need a shower,’ and went.

Komaeda did the same. His neck still hurt afterwards, so he went to the sick room. He’d expected it to be empty since Togami had made his escape, but Tsumiki was there, watching over a sleeping Kuwata.

‘K-Komaeda-kun.’ She seemed as if she’d been dozing herself. ‘Did you need something?’

‘Just some painkillers,’ Komaeda said.

‘Did you hurt yourself? You should let me examine you.’

‘Oh, no,’ Komaeda said. ‘It’s nothing so serious.’

Kuwata stirred on the bed, drawing Tsumiki’s concern back to him.

‘What happened to him?’ Komaeda asked. Kuwata had been fine the last time Komaeda saw him – although to be fair Komaeda had been trying not to see too much.

‘He tripped and hit his head last night,’ Tsumiki said. ‘I’m worried he has a concussion –’ she wrung her hands – ‘but there’s not much I can do from here. We – we shouldn’t have had that party.’

‘I guess you don’t need another patient then, huh?’ Komaeda said. ‘I’ll leave you alone.’

‘If you’re in pain, I can give you something –’

‘It’s fine,’ Komaeda said. ‘I just wanted to make a fuss about nothing.’ He backed out of the room, saved from any more of Tsumiki’s attention by Kuwata groaning in his sleep. He didn’t know why, but something in the way Tsumiki had said examine you had disturbed him.

It was strange, too, that it was Kuwata who had had that sort of accident. If anyone should have had the bad luck to get a concussion, it should have been Komaeda. But all he had was a crick in his neck.

Komaeda didn’t like seeing misfortune in people who were meant to be on top of the world. It wasn’t how things were meant to go. Unless … probably it was something to overcome. To survive and come out the stronger for it. That was the sort of injury someone like Kuwata should suffer.

Hitting your head when you were drunk wasn’t really it.

---

People were subdued when Usami came to speak to them after breakfast – remembering her reappearance after being dismantled, or just nursing hangovers.

‘Thank you all for coming,’ Usami said, as if they had any other choice. ‘I have some fantastic news for you all. That’s right! We have the first two graduates from Usami’s school of love! Oogami-san and Asahina-san, it’s your time to shine – let’s have a round of applause, shall we?’

Everyone, then, turned to look at Oogami and Asahina. Who were sitting together, yes, and Asahina had her hand on Oogami’s leg, but that could have just been a friendly gesture. Asahina went bright red though, which implied otherwise.

‘How could you know?’ she said. ‘What Sakura-chan and I talked about … that’s private!’

‘Don’t be shy,’ Usami said. Somehow, she had sprouted a pair of wings. ‘I said I’d know, didn’t I? Usami can always tell when true love has blossomed.’ She flew a circle above the floor.

‘There’s no need to be embarrassed,’ Oogami said. ‘Didn’t we say we could face anything together?’

Asahina set her chin and gave a little nod.

‘And that’s how you know it’s true love,’ Usami said, clapping her paws. ‘Wonderful! So lovely! Please come up so I can congratulate you properly!’

The two of them rose, and Oogami took Asahina’s hand in hers. It wasn’t quite like watching two brides walk down the aisle together, but somehow even Oogami had a maidenly air about her that morning.

‘Let’s give them a round of applause, everyone!’ Usami mimed wiping an eye. ‘Usami is so proud of you both.’

Oogami and Asahina faced the room, while Usami pretended to get choked up. Nervously, people began to clap – and then more sincerely. Because Asahina and Oogami were getting out of here – that was what it was, wasn’t it? They’d passed Usami’s test, and now they could walk out of here.

‘Your car is already waiting outside,’ Usami said. ‘I took the liberty of packing all your things.’ Her eyes sparkled with happy tears (or perhaps just glitter). ‘Now go!’ Your teacher –’ she gulped – ‘can’t teach you anything more.’

‘Congratulations, you two!’ Sonia called out.

‘You’re getting out of here!’

‘Go! Show the world the beauty of sapphic love!’ That one was Chabashira.

‘Thank you, everybody,’ Asahina said. ‘When we get out of here –’

‘Ah, about that,’ Usami said. ‘This is all a secret, right?’

‘A secret?’ Asahina’s eyes went wide; Oogami patted her reassuringly.

‘Don’t worry,’ Oogami said. ‘We understand.’

‘But everyone …’

‘They all deserve their own opportunity to find love.’ Oogami took Asahina’s hands in both of hers, and looked into her eyes.

‘I … I understand,’ Asahina said. She nodded fervently. ‘It’s our secret. That’s right.’

There was a little more to-do, but soon they were leaving – the dining room doors opening dramatically of their own accord, and then closing firmly behind them.

In the silence that descended, Usami sighed happily. ‘I do love a happy ending. But as for the rest of you –’ She clapped her paws together, and turned to face them all. ‘Hanamura-kun and Hinata-kun, your roommates have graduated. Can you guess what that means?’

‘Don’t say we have to share a room now,’ Hinata muttered.

‘Heh. I’m up for it if Hinata-kun is –’

‘That’s not it,’ Usami said. ‘If your partner graduates – with someone else – then it means your time here is done.

That hadn’t been in the guidebook.

‘Is that all?’ Hanamura said. ‘Well, I’ll be sorry to say goodbye to all you lovely ladies and gentlemen –’

‘I’m not finished. Hinata-kun, you have immunity this round, so you’ll be staying with us. Do your best to find your perfect match quickly, okay? But Hanamura-kun …’ Usami’s voice had become unusually solemn. ‘This is the end of the line for you.’

‘I’ve become unwanted, have I?’

‘I’m very sorry,’ Usami said. ‘It looks like you won’t be finding love in this life.’

No-one could have expected what happened next. Hanamura certainly wasn’t expecting it. Usami lifted her wand – and all the knives, forks, chopsticks, that had been set out with the breakfast things lifted in the air. That alone was enough to make your spine run cold. But then …

Usami swished her wand back down, and every one of those utensils sped toward Hanamura with great force. He hardly had time to holler before he was speared in the flesh a hundred times.

‘Wh–What is this?’ he croaked out. He lifted his hand to a fork that was embedded in his throat. With both hands, he yanked it out.

Blood sprayed out in three brilliant streams, and Hanamura collapsed on the floor. There were two horrible rattles as he tried to take breath– but then he slumped, and was silent.

Everyone stared at the newly made corpse that had been their fellow participant and prisoner. Iruma was the first one to scream. But she wasn’t the only one.

---

‘I can’t believe that really happened,’ Akamatsu said. They’d been sent back to their rooms while Usami ‘cleaned up’ (although Komaeda wondered if that was the real reason). ‘He actually died, didn’t he? It wasn’t some sort of trick.’

‘He actually died.’

‘To think this was the sort of game they were playing all along.’ Akamatsu gave a little laugh, but she was horribly pale. She looked at Komaeda. ‘You know what this means?’ She didn’t wait for an answer. ‘I can’t fall in love with Saihara-kun after all.’ Her lip wobbled; Komaeda was worried she would burst into tears.

‘Don’t be silly,’ he said. ‘You should fall in love with who you want to.’

‘But if I do,’ she said, ‘then you’ll be killed, Komaeda-kun.’

‘I may be or I may not,’ Komaeda said – they would have to know what it was had made Hinata ‘immune’ to start with – ‘but you mustn’t let that affect things. After all, if you can fall in love in circumstances like these, then isn’t that the most brilliantly hopeful thing you’ve ever heard of? If I have to die for that, I’m sure it will be worth it.’

Akamatsu looked at him balefully. ‘Don’t talk like that.’ She lifted a pillow to whack him with. ‘We have to get out of here together!’

‘If you’re planning to fall in love with me instead –’

‘That’s not what I mean! We have to escape, together.’

‘Ah. Of course.’

‘We can’t let ourselves be distracted,’ she said, and squeezed the pillow against herself. Her eyes were wet. ‘From now on, Usami is our enemy.’

Hadn’t she been their enemy already? Akamatsu sounded like she was swearing an oath, though, and not just stating the obvious.

‘At least those two don’t have to know what really happened,’ Akamatsu said more quietly. ‘They’re free of it.’

‘Do you think so?’ Komaeda said.

‘Of course they are.’ Akamatsu lifted herself to look at him. ‘Aren’t they? They’re free, and … and they’ll definitely tell someone and they’ll come rescue us!’

Komaeda wondered if whoever was behind this would let that happen. It didn’t seem right, that they could be freed just because Oogami and Asahina got out and told someone. That would hardly make for a story at all. They were going to have to suffer much, much more first … and that would make things all the meaningful for those of them who did fall in love, wouldn’t it? And they would. Even in warzones, people managed to fall in love. And so it would be here. People would fall in love … and doom their roommates in doing so. Was there anything as full of despair as that? And yet, Komaeda could die happy knowing it would make someone like Akamatsu shine all the brighter.

It was only because Akamatsu looked so aghast that Komaeda realised he’d said all that out loud.

‘Don’t say that,’ she said. ‘You’re not going to die. I definitely won’t fall in love, so you’re not going to die.’ She looked very determined.

‘I’m saying not to worry about it.’

Akamatsu’s expression didn’t change. It made her all the more beautiful.

‘Well, I guess I’m not going to change your perspective on that,’ Komaeda conceded.

‘Definitely not.’

‘Because I really don’t mind –’

‘Definitely not, I said.’

He’d already established, hadn’t he, that arguing with Akamatsu was futile? He didn’t have the stamina for it.

He’d seen someone die today.

He’d seen people die before. Was that why it didn’t bother him the way it did Akamatsu? The emotion was stuck in some deeper part of himself that he’d lost contact with.

‘Why do you think Hinata-kun had immunity, and Hanamura-kun didn’t?’ Komaeda asked.

‘It’s because Hinata-kun had so many people pick him at the start, isn’t it?’ Akamatsu said. ‘I mean, not that Usami read out everyone’s results, but I can’t imagine Hanamura-kun got many picks.’ If any, she didn’t say.

‘I wonder if it’s as obvious as that.’

‘Well, maybe it depends on how your dates are going too. If people say they’d see you again or not.’

‘So you’re saying the reason Hanamura-kun died is because nobody liked him that much?’

‘That’s not what I’m saying!’

‘It makes sense, though. Some people have hope in the game of love, and some people do not …’

But should Hinata really have been one of those people? Did he deserve it? When you looked at what he’d achieved with his life compared to someone like Hanamura …

‘I don’t believe that,’ Akamatsu said. ‘I believe someone out there would get along with Hanamura-kun perfectly! But he’ll never get the chance to find out, will he? Because the people behind this wouldn’t let him.’

‘I can’t imagine the sort of person who would make a good match for Hanamura-kun.’

‘That – that just means you have a limited imagination!’

‘Hmm, probably.’

‘No-one’s unloveable,’ Akamatsu said, more softly. ‘I really believe that. Even you, Komaeda-kun.’

That sounded like a response to an argument they’d never had. Komaeda had never claimed he was unloveable. Even the most banal people managed to pair up and claim that thing called ‘love’, for however long it lasted.

Caring for him was a fool’s errand, though. It meant nothing good for anybody. It was hard to explain that to someone like Akamatsu, who’d probably never had anything really bad happen to her. She’d probably never even seen a dead body before, let alone known that it was her fault.

But you could say, maybe, that this one was all of their faults. It certainly wasn’t Hanamura’s lack of liking for others that had gotten him killed. The way he showed it, perhaps … but that wasn’t something that could be changed now.

But they would all feel bad for his death, because in a way they were all culpable.

---

Later, Komaeda told Akamatsu he was going for a walk. Walking the hotel wasn’t as pleasant as walking outdoors (although at least he was in no danger of getting so lost he couldn’t be found) but it allowed Komaeda some space to breathe. Probably Akamatsu too, even if all she did was hang in the hotel room.

After he’d walked down to the ground floor, then up to the roof, then back to his own floor, he found himself drawn to Hinata’s door.

Probably Hinata wouldn’t want to see him. And probably it was irresponsible of Komaeda to want to see Hinata – couldn’t he remember the way Hinata had looked at him yesterday? And not how nice it had been to sit beside him today and watch the sun rise?

Komaeda knocked on the door anyway. Just in case.

The door didn’t open right away. Komaeda was considering whether to try again or just to walk away when it did open, the lights only just flicking into life.

‘It’s you,’ Hinata said, but he moved to the side to let Komaeda in.

‘I thought I’d see how you were.’ Rather than looking at Hinata, though, Komaeda looked around the room – the spaces where Asahina’s things had been and now were not.

‘How well can I be? I just saw someone stabbed to death with eating utensils.’

‘And it could have been you.’

Hinata didn’t say anything to that. He stood there, in the doorwell, and now that Komaeda did look at him properly, he looked terrible.

‘Hanamura didn’t deserve that,’ Hinata said at last. ‘Whatever he did, it wasn’t worth that.’

Komaeda hadn’t even thought of that – that it might be some sort of punishment. But Hinata seemed to have been thinking about it.

‘Why do you think it wasn’t you, too?’ Komaeda asked.

Hinata flinched. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Don’t go saying things like …’ He squeezed his mouth closed, like he couldn’t bear to say whatever it was. ‘Hanamura didn’t deserve it.’

‘I know,’ Komaeda said. ‘It’s not got anything to do with what we deserve. It’s just Usami’s decision.’

‘Usami’s decision.’ Hinata folded his arms, troubled.

‘Or whoever is behind this.’

‘Right. There’s someone behind this.’

Obviously Hinata was badly affected by Hanamura’s death – it made him repeat the things Komaeda said. Probably there was only so much he could take.

‘I think they’ve been even crueler to you, though, Hinata-kun,’ Komaeda said. ‘Hanamura-kun is only dead. But you get to know that if you fall in love with someone, then it means you’re killing someone too.’

‘I … I know that.’

It was a good thing, then, that Hinata would never be in love with Komaeda. That would be the worst ending, wouldn’t it? Imagine if someone like Akamatsu died because of two people like them. That would truly be hopeless.

Oh, except that Akamatsu would probably have immunity.

‘Why did you come here?’ Hinata said.

‘I wanted to see if you were alright. Like I said.’

‘So you said something like that to me?’

‘Ah … you’re right, that was thoughtless of me, Hinata-kun. You don’t want to think about that. How about you think of it as, at least you’re safe for now?’

‘Am I? It’s not like we knew what would happen this morning. Oogami and Asahina, they didn’t know. If they’d known …’

‘Do you think they could have stopped themselves?’

‘Sure they could,’ Hinata said. ‘You just don’t talk about it, do you?’

For a moment, Komaeda wondered if Hinata was talking about him. But he sounded too bitter for that; the bitterness was directed at something – someone – Komaeda didn’t know.

Komaeda was jealous, then. Of the person he imagined, whom Hinata had loved but never spoken to of it.

Hinata sighed. ‘Want to go somewhere else?’

‘You want to go somewhere with me?’

‘We can’t just keep hiding in our rooms, can we? Usami’s going to call us out sooner or later.’

‘Right … do you think she’s still going to insist yesterday’s winners go on their dates tonight?’

Hinata grimaced. ‘Probably.’

‘Want to see if we can get into the basement? Shirogane-san said you need a key card, but I haven’t checked myself.’

‘Sure,’ Hinata said. ‘But why the basement?’

‘In case there’s a hidden factory where Usamis get made.’ Hinata looked at him blankly. ‘I think it sounded more likely after we’d been drinking.’

‘Right. You know, I actually forgot about that.’

‘You forgot about Usami’s replacement? You mean you just didn’t remember, or did you drink so much that –’

‘I didn’t remember,’ Hinata said, drily. ‘Not until you just said. I’m not the one who was drinking hard liquor.’

‘I told you, I didn’t have that much. I still remembered.’

‘Well, a lot else happened.’

Komaeda supposed he shouldn’t say anything further to that. It would make it sound like he’d forgotten that someone had died.

‘It can’t hurt to take a look downstairs,’ Hinata said. He spoke the words slowly enough to sound unsure … perhaps this new murderous Usami would object with violence. But that seemed unlikely. You would die if you lost the game – not because you tested the boundaries of it.

Akamatsu and Iruma had proven that.

---

The elevator wouldn’t take you to the basement without a swipe card; there was a door at the back of the reception area that seemed like it could lead downstairs, though, and Komaeda thought that might be easier to break into.

Komaeda tested his swipe card against the reader on the door first. It gave him a series of ‘failure’ beeps.

‘Guess I’m not secretly in league with Usami after all.’

‘If you were, you’d just keep two swipe cards,’ Hinata said.

‘Just for this sort of situation?’ Komaeda bend down to peer at the doorlatch; he wasn’t sure if tricks with wire would work.

‘Do you think Fujisaki could alter the cards?’ Hinata said.

‘I’m sure Kirigiri-san has already thought of that …’

‘Were you two looking for me?’ A peppy voice rang out.

Hinata jolted; Komaeda only straightened and turned to face Usami.

‘That’s right. We were wondering about where the replacement Usamis came from.’

‘Now now, you mustn’t be interested in little old me,’ Usami said. ‘But you are working together, so I suppose I can’t be too upset. You won’t find anything in there, though.’

‘No?’

‘I can show you.’ Usami pressed a paw to the reader; the door clicked, and she gestured for Komaeda to open it.

‘After you,’ she said.

The door opened into an unlit room.

‘It’s just an office,’ Hinata said, peering in.

‘Right? There’s definitely no secret rooms at all.’

Komaeda stepped in, because he thought it was worth checking. ‘Aren’t the lights automatic?’

‘There should be a switch,’ Usami said. ‘It’s not like it’s controlled by my magic or anything.’

Hinata stepped in after Komaeda; that was a mistake. Because Usami gave a little wave, and then the door shut on them.

Instantly, they were swathed in darkness.

‘Dammit!’ Hinata said; Komaeda could hear him futilely trying the handle.

‘I have to say, I wasn’t expecting Usami to trick us like that,’ Komaeda said. He felt along the wall for a light switch; the wall was perfectly smooth. ‘Is the switch on your side, Hinata-kun?’

‘Hang on.’

A moment after that, a screen on the other side of the room flickered into life.

‘Ahem,’ said the Usami on screen. ‘You’ve stumbled onto a sidequest. Congratulations! This quest is called Seven Minutes in Heaven.’

Komaeda looked at Hinata, whose face was now visible in the screen light. Hinata was watching the video.

‘It’s an easy game,’ Usami said. ‘You just have stay in the room for seven minutes. Maybe this is a good time to strengthen your bonds?’

Hinata blanched.

‘After seven minutes, it’s up to you whether the door will open or not. I look forward to your success!’

The screen winked off again. Back in the dark, Komaeda’s own breath sounded very loud.

‘So we just have to wait in the dark?’ he said. ‘Or are we meant to solve some sort of puzzle …’

‘It’s a kissing game,’ Hinata said.

‘What?’ It was disconcerting hearing Hinata use the word ‘kiss’ in the dark.

‘Seven Minutes in Heaven. Your friends shut you in the closet and you’re meant to make out. Something like that.’

‘Oh. I think I’ve heard of it.’ It was annoying, not being able to see Hinata’s face any more. ‘Is that the sort of game you played in high school, Hinata-kun?’

‘It’s an American thing, I think.’

‘Right.’

Komaeda heard Hinata sit down, with an annoyed sigh.

‘Um, if it’s that sort of game, shouldn’t we –’

‘We’ve still got six minutes.’

‘Right.’ Rather than sit down too, Komaeda went back to the wall, to trace his way around the room. In case there were any hidden doors or anything.

‘It might not be what we expect,’ he said when Hinata asked what he was doing. ‘Maybe she’s trying to distract us from the fact there’s another door here.’

‘She could have just not let us in in that case.’

Following the wall, Komaeda missed the existence the next impediment until it was too late; he tripped over something hard and fell.

‘Ow!’ he said, hands and knees on the floor.

‘What happened?’ Hinata sounded alarmed, which was some relief.

‘I tripped.’ Komaeda felt for the offending item. ‘Just a rubbish bin, I think. I’m okay.’

‘You’re okay?’ Hinata sounded closer.

‘Unless I twisted my ankle.’ Komaeda rolled the joint; he thought maybe it would hurt when he tried to stand on it. But probably it would be okay after that. Twisting your ankle wasn’t really dramatic enough to count as bad luck, unless it stopped you from winning the race you’d been training for for months or something like that.

There was some screwed-up paper in the rubbish bin; Komaeda put it in his pocket, before he righted the bin.

‘Can you stand up?’ Hinata said.

‘I might just stay on the ground for now.’

‘Okay.’

He really wished he could see Hinata. ‘How many minutes do you think it’s been?’

‘Not seven.’

‘How would Usami even know what we did in here? It’s not like they can record us in the dark.’

‘Some sort of heat camera, maybe?’

‘Would that really let you know if two people were kissing?’

‘Well, maybe it’s not just that. Maybe we’re meant to confess or something.’

‘Right. That seems even less likely.’

Hinata was quiet a moment. ‘I do have something to confess.’

‘Oh? What is it?’ Not the kind of confession that could have messed things up for them, presumably.

‘The other night,’ Hinata said. ‘I didn’t actually eat Hanamura’s dessert.’

 

It took Komaeda a moment to register the words.

‘Hang on, what?’

‘Mioda and I had been snacking all afternoon so I let Nanami eat mine as well as her own.’

‘You didn’t –’ Komaeda felt his brain shorting out. ‘If you didn’t eat it, then what were you blaming me for?’

‘That wasn’t … it wasn’t about …’

‘Oh? You certainly managed to give the impression you thought it was something I’d done.’

‘I mean. I didn’t eat it, but you did, right? So I’m the one who –‘ Hinata’s voice dropped – ‘who took advantage of you.’

‘What?’ Komaeda shifted onto his knees so that he could move closer. ‘You took advantage of me?’

‘Didn’t I? If it was just because of the drug …’

‘Hinata-kun. If you really think that –’ Komaeda reached out with his fingers, until he hit something warm – Hinata’s shoulder – ‘you must be pretty dim.’

‘You don’t have to say it like that.’

‘No?’ Now, Komaeda found Hinata’s face with his other hand; Hinata didn’t try and move away or escape him. Komaeda found his mouth, brushing his fingers over his lips. ‘I’m going to kiss you now.’

‘Okay.’

Komaeda framed Hinata’s face in his hands, and he leaned in to press his lips against Hinata’s; Hinata surprised him by grabbing hold of him in turn, and pressing the kiss deeper. His tongue was wet on Komaeda’s, and his mouth was hot, and Komaeda wanted to do much, much more than kiss him.

Instead he pulled back, falling away from Hinata in the dark. He pressed his hand against his mouth, which was not the same thing at all as a kiss.

‘Komaeda?’

‘That should be enough, don’t you think? Any more, and it would be like we wanted to.’

‘You don’t have to … you can’t call me dim and then talk like that.’

‘What was it you said before, Hinata-kun? Something like, “you can if you don’t talk about it”?’

‘That’s –’

‘You’re not that selfish, are you, Hinata-kun? Imagine what it would do to the others.’ Komaeda had the twisted feeling that if it were only the cost of Akamatsu’s life …  well, he’d never expected to be able to stay attached to her anyway. But if Hinata were the kind of person for whom a life meant nothing …

That wouldn’t be a person who could make him feel like this in the first place.

‘I get it,’ Hinata said. ‘Whatever we do, we’re complicit, right? We can’t get close, or trust one another … But Komaeda, how are we meant to keep going like that? I mean, I saw someone die. How am I meant to go on after that?’

Komaeda stood up. His ankle hurt at first, but it wasn’t so bad he couldn’t put his weight on it. He went to the door, which unlatched now. He held it there ajar, with the light from the rest of the hotel edging in. Thought about closing the door again; sinking back to the floor to embrace Hinata. Earn their exit again and again.

More slowly, Hinata got to his feet behind him.

And still, Komaeda could have turned and held him. He could feel the anticipation all through his body, in every inch of his skin.

Hinata reached out, and he grabbed the back of Komaeda’s shirt. A gesture like that could have led to a hundred excuses – it’s not like it has to mean anything; we don’t have to let it mean anything. How could Hinata suddenly change like this and have it mean something?

‘Your foot,’ Hinata said quietly. ‘Is it okay for you to walk on?’

‘Would you offer to let me lean on you, Hinata-kun? It’s fine.’ It was sore to stand on at first, but he would walk it off. ‘Actually, you should check this room out before we go. I’ll hold the door.’

‘Oh, sure.’ Hinata looked a little flushed as he went to examine the room.

The room had a desk, but while there was a monitor, it had no computer attached. Hinata poked around in the drawers, but there didn’t seem to be anything of interest. On the wall opposite the desk there was a poster of a salmon being caught by a bear. Maybe they should check behind it – but before Komaeda could suggest that, Usami’s attention-grabbing music rang out from the foyer.

‘Everyone, it’s time to gather again in the dining room! Let’s not let our spirits be dimmed! Usami doesn’t want any of you to miss out on opportunities to connect – so stragglers will be hunted down! In the nicest way possible. See you all shortly.’

The announcement ended. Hinata, standing behind the desk, had turned pale. ‘She really wants us to go back there?’

‘Maybe Oogami-san and Asahina-san could survive on love alone, but the rest of us do need to eat.’ Komaeda didn’t mean to sound chiding, but perhaps it came out that way – Hinata didn’t look reassured. ‘We don’t have a choice, Hinata-kun.’

‘Right,’ Hinata said. ‘Usami is forcing us.’ Rather than saying it for Komaeda’s sake, he sounded as if he were saying it for his own benefit. And Komaeda found that he did want to reassure Hinata.

Except that was pointless. He couldn’t let himself get too close to Hinata.

So he didn’t say anything, but waited as Hinata steadied himself to leave.